This made me laugh since I don't think of myself as a passionate person. Insane, yes.
Kayte if the only thing you fight for is your family that is still fantastic and worthy. I know you go to bat for your children (esp. a cute little boy) and that is a much more important thing to care about than almost anything else I can think of.
I notice here that there is a recurring theme regarding "negativity", Since we're all being honest here I for one was not happy about the clique that developed within the board, There was an element of a "cool" gang, which went so far that if interesting posts were submitted they were blatantly ignored unless posted by certain members, This went so far as certain posts were made by boardies and blatantly ignored, then a couple of weeks/months later when a "cool" boardie posted the same subject there were loads of replies... is this not just, if not more so, anti social behaviour. I for one am guilty of negativity but my negativity expands to cover all, I endeavour not to demean boardies by turning my nose up at them or thinking they are beneath me.
Dubz
Well I hope my honest response to your honest response doesn't spark yet another replay of the same but I wanted to respond to the parts of your post that made me think "yep I do that."
The majority of the time if I don't post it's because I don't have anything to add to the conversation and/or it doesn't interest me. However I do not reply to a incredibly small number of specific boardies because I find them so generally unpleasant or if they only post about one specific topic that I am not interested in.
I try and view this message board like a pub or a coffee shop. I will not post anything on here that I wouldn't say to your face. And like if we were in a public setting there are certain people I would avoid because they have proven themselves to be so mean spirited that I don't want to interact with them. And just like in real life there are people who only talk about one subject and if doesn't interest me why have a conversation?
And there are definitely times I don't post because I just don't want to get into the same old, same old.
As most boardies have said, I don't think that Facebook is entirely to blame.
Personally, I've been looking at the board but not posting simply because I don't have anything to say that would interest anyone, or else I've been buried under college work because of exams approaching. The negativity that was on the board also made me more hesitant to post, just in case any bad feelings were exacerbated by another 'meaningless' post.
I dare say when exams are over then there'll be some more activity on here :-)
Well I hope my honest response to your honest response doesn't spark yet another replay of the same but I wanted to respond to the parts of your post that made me think "yep I do that."
The majority of the time if I don't post it's because I don't have anything to add to the conversation and/or it doesn't interest me. However I do not reply to a incredibly small number of specific boardies because I find them so generally unpleasant or if they only post about one specific topic that I am not interested in.
I try and view this message board like a pub or a coffee shop. I will not post anything on here that I wouldn't say to your face. And like if we were in a public setting there are certain people I would avoid because they have proven themselves to be so mean spirited that I don't want to interact with them. And just like in real life there are people who only talk about one subject and if doesn't interest me why have a conversation?
And there are definitely times I don't post because I just don't want to get into the same old, same old.
That's fair enough, I gotta agree with most of what you have said here,
However, that was not what I was on about. What I was on about was say for instance, Some newbie (random person) posts something about "Cool Band Names" (random topic). No one replies. 6 weeks later a "Cool Boardie" (who's in some sort of clique/cool gang) posts the topic "Great Band Names" and suddenly everyone is interested and answering this thread.
I think it's up to everyone to contribute to a better atmosphere. You can only fight to improve your own behaviour, it's impossible to change others.
It's totally acceptable to have bad days and being negative about stuff, as long as it doesn't affect someone else negatively. For instant there is the "rant of today" thread, but the stuff that has prevented me the most from posting here is people insulting others, calling each other names and posting nasty comments behind people's backs.
I've got PM from certain people(who don't know me very well) calling me all sort of stuff, like I have different types of disorders and that's just plain bullying.
Nowadys I choose wisely what kind of context I want to be a part of and I'm afraid that this messageboard(mostly the G-chat) has proven it self to be just as nasty as other communities.
I think most conflicts are a result of bad comminucation, so would like to advice all of you to be careful when you post something and how you put it, cause the human brain reads in stuff between the lines. Just look through what you've written an extra time before pushing the submit button.
Even not posting can be a way of communication. For example; when I hadn't been on the board for a week or so, people got very worried about me(lovely guys) and if you've started a thread that 100 people have read, but no one replies to it, your brain starts to imagine things.. And then if someone finally replies with a big "FUCK OFF", then you feel a bit worthless. It's extra important to be careful on the internet, cause it's only words here, the message you send can get recieved in a completely different way.
The way to success is to treat everyone with respect and not saying something you wouldn't say to a complete stranger on the street.
That's fair enough, I gotta agree with most of what you have said here,
However, that was not what I was on about. What I was on about was say for instance, Some newbie (random person) posts something about "Cool Band Names" (random topic). No one replies. 6 weeks later a "Cool Boardie" (who's in some sort of clique/cool gang) posts the topic "Great Band Names" and suddenly everyone is interested and answering this thread.
That kinda pisses me off.
Dubz
Seriously? I didn't even notice that..
but whoever it concerns...such a behavioure is just childish nothing else...
But as I said, I didn't really notice it. I realised that the bonds of some boardies here are stronger to each other than to newbies like me for instance..but I figured that comes from the long time they've been spending here talking to each other...
But if this selective reading/answering really happens - and I mean "selective" about who's the writer and not what's the topic...that's just childish - and therefore sad......means that this might even not be read, right? :)
About that kind of "negativity": That "fight" or whatever it was that was going on months ago...: it really annoyed me - but just certain offending posts were kind tedious - not the argument itself.
And yet it gave us something to discuss about - something where all kind of people were involved - that something drew our attention and that heat that was released within these arguments - was "good"...Somebody following?
And yet it gave us something to discuss about - something where all kind of people were involved - that something drew our attention and that heat that was released within these arguments - was "good"...Somebody following?
I know what you're trying to say, that it was good to have something people got passionate about, but I don't agree with you. Discussions are only good if you listen (or read as the case may be) other people's points and consider them, rather than just dismissing them because you don't agree. That wasn't happening during that "negative period". In my opinion arguing is not a form of discussion and debate.
Anyway, if I was on facebook, I'd still come to this place. It's nice to meet people through a common interest, and it might sound weird, but I feel more free to be myself cos I don't know anyone here in person.
However, how many of us are unselfish enough to stop and think - "Actually this person may have a point here", normally human behaviour states:- I'm right!! They/he/she is/are wrong so fuck 'em, They/he/she are/is a moron!!
It is extremely difficult to put yourself on the other side of the arguement when you are so vehemently attached to your side. Like I mentioned before, concerning religion but it could have concerned anything, the minute you become fundamentalist about your arguement you have lost, because you can no longer "see" the other sides point of view. Arguements are good, Debate is good, Conflict is good as long as it is healthy and doesn't become personal.
For example people think I have a problem with Swedeboy, I do not, I disagree with most of what he says, that's my perogative, However I will fight for his right to say it, and btw. Alex, I do respect you, and when I tell you to FUCK OFF. I'm simply getting at what you have posted, I am in no way getting at you, or you as a person. I just hugely disagree with what you have said. This is a board or a "Forum" a place for discussion/arguement/debate or simply a soapbox for people like myself who have stuff to "get off their chest".
This board may seem negative at times but it's also been there for people who in their hour of need it has come through.
In conclusion, Take the rough with the smooth, grow a pair, talk to people (they may surprise you) and don't take it personally, it is the interweb after all
Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can,
And the fucking wisdom to know the fucking difference.
For example people think I have a problem with Swedeboy, I do not, I disagree with most of what he says, that's my perogative, However I will fight for his right to say it, and btw. Alex, I do respect you, and when I tell you to FUCK OFF. I'm simply getting at what you have posted, I am in no way getting at you, or you as a person. I just hugely disagree with what you have said. This is a board or a "Forum" a place for discussion/arguement/debate or simply a soapbox for people like myself who have stuff to "get off their chest".
Dubz
Do they? ;) I don't think you have and I don't have any problems with you, at least not anymore, even though I´m not always a fan of how you express yourself. :P However I've sort of realized that this is the way you are and learned to live with it.
I do have problems with other boardies though, who insult and attack people without having anything to back up their opinions. You can't love everyone I know that, but you can always respect each other.
I also know that I'm a complete weirdo, either you love me or hate me...
And yet it gave us something to discuss about - something where all kind of people were involved - that something drew our attention and that heat that was released within these arguments - was "good"...Somebody following?
I know what you're trying to say, that it was good to have something people got passionate about, but I don't agree with you. Discussions are only good if you listen (or read as the case may be) other people's points and consider them, rather than just dismissing them because you don't agree. That wasn't happening during that "negative period". In my opinion arguing is not a form of discussion and debate.
Anyway, if I was on facebook, I'd still come to this place. It's nice to meet people through a common interest, and it might sound weird, but I feel more free to be myself cos I don't know anyone here in person.
I don't think it's the fb either..
But I do think that at some point people (at least some) started to think about the arguments of each other rather then just to tell them to fuck off - I also think that that acutally was the turning point in that whole discussion.
For me for instance was it - when I realised at some point - that Dubz was right about that "healthy argument" which he already mentioned before somewhere in this apology/alcohol thread, although our opinions on the other thematic were not congruent at all or maybe they were in the end. Don't really remember.
I guess it depends on whether a person is "open" to discuss/to agree with others or really listen and sometimes give up their point of view - for another one.
----
But how many peole here actually do use fb to talk about stuff that would have been discussed here back in those "good old times"? ..like night-chat-themes?
I don't think so (that's my answer to the title of the thread).
I'm not posting and/or lurking as much as I used to. I think it's a combination of being too bussy with work / uni / other activities and not being so interested in the threads that are being posted.
I'm on Facebook, and I chat with some boardies there, but in my case it's not enough to replace this board, I think.
Anyway, I believe it's just a low season and with time people will come back and/or new people will come, and the forum will be more active.
But how many peole here actually do use fb to talk about stuff that would have been discussed here back in those "good old times"? ..like night-chat-themes?
