Posts: 32 |
Alex178 Posted Sat 07 Feb, 2009 5:50 PM |
I dont know what to do about my best mate...he and I have been friends for six years& used to be at uni together. Recently he doesnt seem to have much time for me. I call and text him during the week to see how he is& for a good gossip but he doesnt call or text me spontaneously. My main gripe is that we only live 20 mins from each other& he hasnt seen me since Sept 08 since I split up from his best mate-my mate&I stayed friends despite this. He has also met a new potential gf -whom he texts& calls all the time- and never even told me which I find upsetting as I tell him everything. I have brought this up with him and he says there's only so much he can do&that he didnt want to jimx it with this new gf. I feel hurt, and feel rejected by him. I am supposed to call him next week but feel just like I should leave him to it. Any advice? |
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fenchurch Posted Sat 07 Feb, 2009 6:41 PM |
Well, personally I'd say don't give up on him just in spite. Friendships are nearly always worth fighting for even if you feel you're putting in more than you're getting out of it. This kind of thing happened to me a while ago, I don't know why it does happen and I was quite upset as well. I stayed friends with the person, but I also started to become closer to my other friends. We've never been as close as we were, and I miss that, but I'm also kind of glad that I don't depend on him as much as I used to.
Hope you figure it out. |
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Rammsfer Posted Sun 08 Feb, 2009 12:45 AM |
Hey
Well, first of all, I hate when this kind of things happen :S I really feel sad when I fight with a friend or something like that. But true friends will be true friends for life. I mean true friends are always there! And you are always there for them. If he really is your friend, then he better prove it...
He can't break up a friendship just because of a girl! That's wrong...
But don't give up! E-mail him or something, and tell him what you feel.
True friends are hard to find... |
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the boy with a cryptic name Posted Sun 08 Feb, 2009 9:35 AM |
| I just want to say that I hope things work out for you but if he's not bothered about your friendship then I guess there's not much you can do. Hopefully he's just in a bad mood at the moment and things will be better soon, maybe you'll be less close but still good friends. |
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Posts: 32 |
Alex178 Posted Sun 08 Feb, 2009 10:58 AM |
Thanks for the advice, I dont want to not ever speak to him again as we have been mates for six years. I think I shall call him tomorrow& if he doesnt answer, I'll just wait to hear from him. I tried to tell him how I feel but I can't help feeling as though I'm acting like his ex and nagging him all the time. He had this problem with his ex gfs-that he didnt seem bothered whether or not he hears from them. He did tell me he misses me but I feel sad that he's not putting the effort in. Is it a male/female thing?? Am I just being a big silly girl about this? |
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Alex178 Posted Sun 08 Feb, 2009 11:03 AM |
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frandougeil Posted Sun 08 Feb, 2009 11:09 AM |
Wow..u must be really sad.
I hope things will get better btwn u guys soon.
A couple of years ago the same thg happened to me and my best friend as well.We started drifting and I felt confused.I didn't know why she was trying to distance herself from me.I was sure i did not do anything wrong.We were in high school that time and it went on till we graduated.I felt really uneasy coz we always use to do things together.Everything.
So when prom was coming i decided to call her and ask her if we would do the shopping for prom clothes together and surprisingly she agreed.I asked her why there was a drift btwn us and she told me she felt like she needed some own space for a while esp to focus on her exams..I tot it was crap reasoning at first but came to accept it.
We're back to being good friends now in fact better than ever.True what Rammsfer said true friends are hard to come by.So if u ever do get a chance to ask him,go on and ask why he's been distancing himself.It could be smthg u didn't realised u had done.I hope it all ends well for u=)
If he still remains the same cold way then u should know better.Just move on u'll find so much better friends in life.Those who would care for u all your life.A good friend wouldn't leve you in the cold because of a new gilrfriend he just found.
Listen to the lyrics of Friends by Travis.U'll learn=)
Hope this helps! |
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Posts: 32 |
Alex178 Posted Sun 08 Feb, 2009 11:22 AM |
hi thanks again for the advice. I know why he is being distant, he's doing a teaching course at the mo& I have a full time job, but we both have free time& whilst I wouldnt mind spending some of mine with him, I dont think he wants to spend his with me.
I asked him if he wanted to meet at the weekends when we're both free but he still makes excuses, and now he's met this new gf, he will say he wants to meet up with her. I just texted and told him I didnt want to lose him as friend. I shall call him tomorrow & if he doesnt answer I shall wait to hear from him. Hopefully he will have some free time once he's done with his course. |
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mili Posted Sun 08 Feb, 2009 6:32 PM |
I don't know if this is any consolation, but people change, and I don't really keep in touch with any of those people I thought I was close in my teens. My husband is my best friend now, there's nothing I can't tell him, but unfortunately I seem to have lost all my friends of the teenage years. in retrospect I wasn't on the same wave length with them, so it obviously wasn't true/lasting friendship.
I suppose your friend is really taken by this girl, and can't concentrate on anyone else. Its up to him to contact you, which he will do if he feels like it, but people who become part of a couple always change a bit towards their old crowd. |
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Peewee Posted Tue 10 Feb, 2009 4:25 PM |
mili wrote: I don't know if this is any consolation, but people change, and I don't really keep in touch with any of those people I thought I was close in my teens. My husband is my best friend now, there's nothing I can't tell him, but unfortunately I seem to have lost all my friends of the teenage years. in retrospect I wasn't on the same wave length with them, so it obviously wasn't true/lasting friendship.
I suppose your friend is really taken by this girl, and can't concentrate on anyone else. Its up to him to contact you, which he will do if he feels like it, but people who become part of a couple always change a bit towards their old crowd.
I agree with Milli. Sometimes people just change and move on. Especially if your best mate is a bloke and now has a gf. You can't really expect him to be spending the same amount of time with you when his attention is elsewhere! Just got to accept that things change. That's Life! |
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Alex178 Posted Sat 14 Feb, 2009 3:35 PM |
hi everyone here is an update. spoke to my mate monday&it dissolved into a row with me saying didnt want to be mates any more. he said he would call me. he didnt. i called him last night but no reply so called earlier today and he snapped at me and hung up. i texted him as I was cross with him and he send a cold reply that he was busy. I said well you always are thats why we arent speaking. Think Ive gone and made it worse! |
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frandougeil Posted Sat 14 Feb, 2009 5:11 PM |
Alex178 wrote:
hi everyone here is an update. spoke to my mate monday&it dissolved into a row with me saying didnt want to be mates any more. he said he would call me. he didnt. i called him last night but no reply so called earlier today and he snapped at me and hung up. i texted him as I was cross with him and he send a cold reply that he was busy. I said well you always are thats why we arent speaking. Think Ive gone and made it worse!
I think u said the right thg when he kept playing the busy card.
I thk u should seriously move on dude.This guy certainly doesn't care bout u as much as he used to.No use waiting on a mate who just wants to drift away from you..U'll find a better mate soon.Cheers man and cheer up! |
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Rammsfer Posted Sat 14 Feb, 2009 5:48 PM |
frandougeil wrote: Alex178 wrote:
hi everyone here is an update. spoke to my mate monday&it dissolved into a row with me saying didnt want to be mates any more. he said he would call me. he didnt. i called him last night but no reply so called earlier today and he snapped at me and hung up. i texted him as I was cross with him and he send a cold reply that he was busy. I said well you always are thats why we arent speaking. Think Ive gone and made it worse!
I think u said the right thg when he kept playing the busy card.
I thk u should seriously move on dude.This guy certainly doesn't care bout u as much as he used to.No use waiting on a mate who just wants to drift away from you..U'll find a better mate soon.Cheers man and cheer up!
Totally agree!
Bah, l really hate this things =/
l hope everything gets better for you...
GOOD LUCK! |
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