Posts: 487 |
haz Posted Thu 15 Jan, 2009 8:09 PM |
Lizzie b wrote: This is one that my mom ALWAYS tells. It's not funny, but she loves it.
Patient: Doctor, every time I drink hot cocoa I get a sharp pain in my eye.
Doctor: Take the spoon out before you drink it.
haha, that's a cute one i really like that one. silly fun is the best fun. |
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Posts: 3258 |
mili Posted Thu 15 Jan, 2009 8:16 PM |
Guaranteed silliness, Christmas Cracker jokes:
What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck
What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
Auld Fang Syne
What is black and white and noisy?
A zebra with a drum kit
What's the fastest thing in water?
A motor pike
What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A jelly baby
What's the most popular gardening magazine in the world?
Weeder's digest!
What would you get if all the cars in Britain were red?
A red carnation
What is green and stands in the corner?
A naughty frog
Why can't a bike stand up by itself?
Because it's two-tired
Why did the chicken cross the football pitch?
Because the referee whistled for a fowl
Why are chocolate buttons rude?
Because they are Smarties in the nude
What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?
Bring on their subs
Why do birds fly south in winter?
Because it's too far to walk
How does Jack Frost get to work?
By icicle
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
Lost
What do you call two robbers?
A pair of knickers
What cereals do cats like?
Mice Crispies
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Posts: 346 |
th74 Posted Thu 15 Jan, 2009 8:52 PM |
lindsey22295 wrote: Lame science joke in 3....2....1....
A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".
Nice! I'm going to tell this to some of science geek friends. |
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Posts: 346 |
th74 Posted Thu 15 Jan, 2009 8:55 PM |
Two lions are eating a clown. One stops and says to the other, "Does something taste funny to you?"
My 2 favorite non-joke jokes:
Bad spellers of the world, untie!
Procrastinators of the world, unite...tomorrow. |
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Posts: 1190 |
frandougeil Posted Fri 16 Jan, 2009 9:52 AM |
Some lame ones..They were sooo lame they made me laugh!
What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
What bird can lift the most?
A Crane.
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils. |
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Posts: 39 |
DucatiMonster Posted Fri 16 Jan, 2009 12:57 PM |
What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?
A carrot
What's brown and sticky ?
A stick |
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Posts: 39 |
DucatiMonster Posted Fri 16 Jan, 2009 1:12 PM |
th74 wrote: Two lions are eating a clown. One stops and says to the other, "Does something taste funny to you?"
My 2 favorite non-joke jokes:
Bad spellers of the world, untie!
Procrastinators of the world, unite...tomorrow.
Plumbers of the world Unite !!
Smash the Cistern !!! |
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Posts: 3572 |
Rammsfer Posted Fri 16 Jan, 2009 5:52 PM |
frandougeil wrote: Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils.
xD |
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Posts: 2003 |
AbsGinger Posted Fri 16 Jan, 2009 7:09 PM |
DucatiMonster wrote: th74 wrote: Two lions are eating a clown. One stops and says to the other, "Does something taste funny to you?"
My 2 favorite non-joke jokes:
Bad spellers of the world, untie!
Procrastinators of the world, unite...tomorrow.
Plumbers of the world Unite !!
Smash the Cistern !!!
polish plumbers you mean ? |
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Posts: 7404 |
Turtleneck Posted Fri 16 Jan, 2009 7:30 PM |
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm. |
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Posts: 3965 |
bogusblue Posted Fri 16 Jan, 2009 10:31 PM |
Turtleneck wrote: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
Hahaha, gross!! :oP I have heard this one in Spanish too xD. |
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Posts: 765 |
erikausagi Posted Sat 17 Jan, 2009 1:20 AM |
Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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You should always give 100% at work...
12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday
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Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.
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Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!
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Posts: 33 |
Euan Posted Sat 17 Jan, 2009 2:32 AM |
Why won't bicycles stand on their own?
Because they're two tyred.
I'm here all week... |
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Posts: 3572 |
Rammsfer Posted Sat 17 Jan, 2009 3:01 AM |
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish. |
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Posts: 3572 |
Rammsfer Posted Sat 17 Jan, 2009 3:02 AM |
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish. |
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