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lindsey22295 Posted Thu 18 Sep, 2008 11:22 PM |
I went to lunch with my Grandma today and was of course talking about school and I happened to mention that I was currently thinking about working towards medical school. My Grandma basically told me that she didn't think it was a good idea for me to go to med school because I am a girl. I kind of waived it off at the moment and changed the subject, but I am incredibly upset. I can't believe they can still be so old fashioned in this day and age.
Does anyone else have stories of old fashioned parents or grandparents? |
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DAKOTA Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 12:06 AM |
| Oooo, boy. I couldn't even begin to tell you all the totally crazy and insensitive things my grandmother has said to...well, everybody on occasion. We just simply cannot really take her seriously anymore. People will barely even engage her in any conversation that might involve anything remotely controversial. This involves anything even slightly liberal, and Baloney (it's for poor people). And no matter how hard you try it's inevitable that she will eventually find something wrong with the most ridiculous and surprising thing you've done or said! I can't think of any really specific examples right now, because I live across the country and haven't spent much time hanging around her lately! |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 12:16 AM |
My paternal Grandmother died last year, my Dad was fuckin' amazing at the funeral I was so proud of him, but anyway she had been ill for some time and when she went it was kinda expected, still sad but..., anyway at the funeral it was more a celebration of the life she had led rather than mourning a loss. My grandmother really was an amazing woman, one of stories I heard that night relates to this thread...
Back in the 60's my Gran was walking through Paisley town centre when she encountered a young coloured lady in a state of obvious distress with two kids outside Gilmour Street Train Station, this being the 60's people were not used to the ethnic diversity of the modern world so pretty much everyone else ignored this young lady. My Gran on the other hand approached her and enquired to what was wrong, The young lady in question had to get a train back to Glasgow to meet her husband, but did not have enough money to get to Glasgow. My Gran not only gave her the money to get her train but took her and the kids to a nearby cafe to get food and drink (Chips and tea or something) on the way back to the station my Gran handed this woman a couple of quid, a huge amount of money in those days, to make sure herself and the kids "got themselves something nice".
This is a wonderful story of human nature and of one human being helping out their fellow man (or woman), but... when my Gran recalled the story to others she described the lady not as coloured or even black but, "That Dirty Black Colour".
Now that statement is obviously racist but the acts she carried out were humanitarian.
I guess I'm trying to say don't be too hard on them if it is pure ignorance then there is no malice intended it's when it becomes malicious we have to stand up.
Dubz
*edit* that said there are also old bastards out there who deliberately spread bigotry and prejudice |
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megg_inc Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 12:25 AM |
Yeah... My grandmother is not a nice old lady. She's mean and insensitive and disrespectful and very conservative.
Let's say she always welcome my uncle's wife with: 'Ohhh, you gained weight again!'. She likes to tell me things like 'if you graduate' or 'if you pass the exam' and, of course, keeps telling me I need to try harder to get a guy 'cause you know, time flies! I'm freakin' 21! I told her once that if I ever have kids, it'll be in my 30s and she said I'm ridiculous 'cause it's waaaay to late.
LOL, once she told me I'm probably possesed when I refused to go to a church (I'm not very religious).
I do my best to avoid her.
edit: Things I mentioned are not the worst she keeps telling people of course. I can't really give any specific examples without revealing some family stuff.
My grandpa, on the other hand, is very nice, funny and basically totally awesome ;). |
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minnmess Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 12:37 AM |
| my grandmother once told me that i wouldnt make a very good wife bc i dont like cleaning. if thats the definition of wife, i will pass thank you! |
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ElspethOllie Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 1:06 AM |
Scottish Dubliner wrote: a young coloured lady
Ha. Colored. Ah, the sixties. I wanna tell people it's okay to say Black. It's actually more politically incorrect if you say African - American. Not all black people are from Africa, a lot are islanders. So, just so you guys know, it's okay to say black.
Uh my grandparents were / are fine. Both sets lived within 15 minutes of each other and got a long really well before and after my parents were married. My grandfathers go golfing together and my grandma's were really great friends (they're both dead). We have a multi - ethnic family so we're all pretty tolerant. So... sorry, no crazy grandparents. No crazy family members either. |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 1:18 AM |
ElspethOllie wrote:
Ha. Colored. Ah, the sixties. I wanna tell people it's okay to say Black. It's actually more politically incorrect if you say African - American. Not all black people are from Africa, a lot are islanders. So, just so you guys know, it's okay to say black.
See, this is the problem, in today's world every fecker is so afraid that they'll say something wrong that it loses the desired effect in conversation, years ago I would have called a black person a black person. now what is it... african american, afro carribean, person of different ethnicity!! fuck that sh!t, let's call a spade a spade, a dwarf/midget/small person is not vertically challenged, disabled people are not differently able/ special/adapted needs, etc, etc,
Dubz
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Aletways Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 4:21 AM |
My grandma was quite a character, but she was a funny old lady. She wanted my sister and I to go to university and study things that would allow us to earn a lot of money (if she knew we're both studying sociology!). My sister when she was a kid once said she wanted to be a dentist and my grandma was ready to cellebrate xD.
One of the conservative things she had was that she didn't like men with long hair. I used to like Hanson when I was 11, so her comments about them were very funny :oP.
And she was very religious too. She wanted to become a nun and her father persuaded her not to.
Oh, btw, this is Juli. But it doesn't matter because we both have the same grandparents :oP |
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Nikki Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 5:00 AM |
My Babcia is 92 years old and she is the sweetest, coolest old lady you'll ever meet! I'm really close with her and love her with all of my heart. I love being with her. We go shopping a lot together and she's a riot to be around.
My Babcia has been through a lot in her life. She's told me many stories about what it was like growing up in Poland during WWII - how she saw people murdered in the street, how her family helped the Jews and how she had to hide in the fields behind their house with her brothers and sisters from the Nazis. She is a fascinating person and I thank God that I've had so much time with her because my Dziadek (grandpa) died when I was 13. I knew him, but I wish I had more time with him in my adult life. My Babcia is very, very religious and, like Dubz put so well, I think that a lot of what comes out of old people's mouths is more ignorance than deliberate bigotry. Sometimes she'll say things about "colored" people and "gays" and I don't think she means any harm by it. It's just how the world was for most of her life. It's funny though because she's SO Catholic, yet she votes Democratic and all her conservative old lady friends get mad at her for voting pro-choice, lol!
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lindsey22295 Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 7:18 AM |
Awww I like reading everyones stories. Thanks for sharing!
It makes me sad that I didn't get to spend more time with my maternal grandparents(they passed away when I was 7 and 11) and also that I'm not close with my paternal grandparents. Despite the fact that I live about 15 minutes away from them I really only see them about 5 times a year. I'm just so different from them. But they are family.
I also accidently let slip that I am a fan of Obama. That opened up a can of worms. |
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moominbadger Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 11:29 AM |
Aw, it's been really nice reading this thread about everyone's grandparents! Now that I'm "grown-up" I so wish that mine were around, there's so many things I'd like to ask them about, how things were when they were little etc.
I can't really contribute to the old fashioned grandparents/parents bit but I do have a very old fashioned uncle and aunt. They disapprove of me and have since stopped talking to me because I went to work in New Zealand for a year. They felt that as I was English and trained for my profession here in England, I should remain faithful to my country and not take my skills elsewhere because "British tax payers money had been invested in me".
How backwards can you get?!!! |
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Peewee Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 12:13 PM |
OMG I could write an essay on this subject. Now I never met my grandparents but I would consider my parents very old fashioned and it has made us CLASH seriously over the years. They are older than alot of parents but that doesn't mean anything, it's just their views that grate on my nerves. Especially my mum! Again they are very religious and I purposely turned against it as I don't believe a religon should be shoved down your throat! Where I come from religion played a huge part in the constant war and fighting between protestants and catholics so when I went to University and made loads of new friends, my mother would constantly come out with remarks like oh you know who they are with their name (implying I couldn't be mates with someone if they were catholic). Now this made me freak out! My best f***ing friends are Catholic what is wrong with that? They were so stuck in their ways and the bigoty really got to me. The same went for gays/coloureds etc.
Also when I decided to leave home and move in with my bf that was a no-no! You just don't do that! You have to get MARRIED first! They still haven't got over it. My dad is great and more understanding and tells my mum to let me just get on with life but Mum..ha
But that's just their thinking and generation and there is nothing I can say that can make them see any different. I have to bite my tongue or I would be estranged from them. lol |
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Tonie Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 12:31 PM |
This is a very interesting thread, and the anecdotes are fascinating.
I no longer have any living grandparents. I have kids of my own, so my parents are that generation now.
Fortunately, when I was growing up, my mum in particular was incredibly liberated, easy to approach, and open minded. My dad was less so.
As they've got older, my girlies definitely see them as good grandparents, and, as much as they are able, they keep up with the times. eg, they have an itunes library and my mum even has a facebook page!
Being of an ethnic minority themselves, they are naturally mindful of not causing offence to other races. It's not a question of being pc or careful, it is simply how they think.
This is not a criticism of anyone who has said this of their own relations. What everyone has said makes absolute sense in the context of each story.
Some amazing tales of amazing people. Thanks for sharing. I also hope that Lyndsey goes on to achieve everything she wishes to, and makes her family proud. |
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AbsGinger Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 12:39 PM |
lindsey22295 wrote: I went to lunch with my Grandma today and was of course talking about school and I happened to mention that I was currently thinking about working towards medical school. My Grandma basically told me that she didn't think it was a good idea for me to go to med school because I am a girl. I kind of waived it off at the moment and changed the subject, but I am incredibly upset. I can't believe they can still be so old fashioned in this day and age.
Does anyone else have stories of old fashioned parents or grandparents?
Tell your granny she should be delighted that her grand daughter is ambitous and will help her when she's sick and older. |
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minnmess Posted Fri 19 Sep, 2008 1:18 PM |
Nikki wrote: yet she votes Democratic and all her conservative old lady friends get mad at her for voting pro-choice, lol!
haha, i love that her friends get mad bc she votes! that is crazy! |
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