She who has lived in both of these States...is this true??
eeks!
"I've heard, for
example, that the blind can legally hunt in both Texas and
Michigan."
Also, i love the what anials say in each country thing. It is often hilarious to hear the answer.
Okay, this is hilarious:
Oscar told me with complete conviction that Saint
Nicholas currently resides in Spain, which again is simply not true. While he could probably live wherever he wanted, Santa chose the North Pole specifically because it is harsh and isolated. No one can spy on him, and he doesn't have to worry about people coming to the door. Anyone can come to the door in Spain, and in that outfit, he'd most certainly be recognized. On top of that, aside from a few pleasantries, Santa doesn't speak Spanish. He knows enough to get by, but he's not fluent, and he certainly
doesn't eat tapas.
Also:
I think history has proven that something usually comes
between slavery and friendship, a period of time marked not by cookies and quiet times beside the fire but by bloodshed and mutual hostility.
And:
"Saint Nicholas would kick you?"
"Well, not anymore," Oscar said. "Now he just pretends to kick
you."
"And the six to eight black men?"
"Them, too."
My phone rang 3 times while reading that and I had to form sentences without laughing hysterically and while holding back my tears.
Thanks Annie Anne.
She who has lived in both of these States...is this true??
eeks!
"I've heard, for
example, that the blind can legally hunt in both Texas and
Michigan."
My phone rang 3 times while reading that and I had to form sentences without laughing hysterically and while holding back my tears.
Thanks Annie Anne.
I wish I could deny the hunting law he cites. But alas, I cannot. It is indeed a bowl full of crazy.
I love David Sedaris. Here are some of my favorite parts:
"Gifts are generally reserved for children, and the parents tend not to go overboard. It's nothing I'd want for myself, but I suppose it's fine for those who prefer food and family to things of real value."
and the ending kills me:
"A Dutch parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate, telling his children, "Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before you go to bed. The former bishop from Turkey will be coming along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you in a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared."
This is the reward for living in Holland. As a child you get to hear this story, and as an adult you get to turn around and repeat it. As an added bonus, the government has thrown in legalized drugs and prostitution-so what's not to love about being Dutch?"
Kristy, you are welcome. And you can repay me by encouraging someone in my family to get me tickets for when he comes here in April. I put it on my list and it's definitely the thing I want most. We saw him a few years ago and his essays/stories are even better when he reads them.
This story is even funnier if you could hear David Sedaris telling/reading it. His voice is so funny, and he just has this brilliant way of telling it!
My boyfriend went to one of his readings and said it was okay. He said he just sounded exactly like he does on tape, or like on This American Life and that it was kind of a let down, because he had heard most of the stories already. We were thinking of going to see him in April as well, but we decided not to.
I enjoyed the reading but I don't have any of his CDs so while I've heard a few things here and there online it was all a new experience to me since I hadn't heard him read the stories. But he read several ones that weren't in any of the books.
When we saw him he had just gotten back from Japan so he talked about that in the Q&A part. It was fun to then read that essay in his new book and remember him talking about some of those things.
So yes I have read his new book and I loved it.
Kristy, you may not ask him about the pillows as he has no idea I am making fun of him behind his back.
Well, since I already posted last year about my family's Polish Christmas traditions, I'll tell y'all about what we do on my dad's side of the family this year. I already told Moray this story, but it’s so hilarious I thought I’d share it with the rest of you. :P
My dad’s side of the family has a huge extended family Christmas Party on the first Saturday of December at a hall each year. We’ve been doing this tradition ever since I can remember, and every year Santa comes to the party. (The guy who dresses up as Santa was my grandpa’s friend and he REALLY looked like Santa, so it was awesome as a kid to see him right before Christmas, but no one in the family knew him as anything but Santa). Our parents would each wrap a present and he’d come in with a bag full of them. However, this year we decided to stop having Santa come since the youngest kids in the family are now teenagers.
Half way through the party on Saturday my grandpa gets on the microphone and says he has some bad news “Santa is dead.” It would have been sad that the poor guy died, but what my grandpa didn’t realize was that my dad’s cousin Patty brought her daughter no one knows and she has two small children that were running around on the dance floor. LMAO! They stopped when they heard him say that and looked DEVASTATED! >.< OMG! It was SO hilarious. It would have been different if he had said “Mr. so and so died” but no, he was just like “SANTAS DEAD” Everyone was laughing so hard. I almost fell off my chair. Those poor children!
ooo, this is SO interesting!!! I've even gotten a few good ideas!
My family always used our winter boots instead of stockings cuz we didn't have a fire place.
Also, Christmas morning, us kids were not allowed to come downstairs until Santa left, which was indicated by a ringing bell. Then we would run downstairs to see how much he had brought.
More recently, in the past 5 yrs or so, we always go to Denny's for Christmas Eve dinner. It started because we would go to Downtown Chicago and look at the lights and hit up Marshall Field's and then go to Denny's on the way home. But since Field's was sold and everyone had to start working on Christmas Eve, we just meet up for dinner @ Denny's. Afterward we drive home hitting up some of the shwanky neighborhoods to check out the decorated houses.
Well, since I already posted last year about my family's Polish Christmas traditions, I'll tell y'all about what we do on my dad's side of the family this year. I already told Moray this story, but it’s so hilarious I thought I’d share it with the rest of you. :P
My dad’s side of the family has a huge extended family Christmas Party on the first Saturday of December at a hall each year. We’ve been doing this tradition ever since I can remember, and every year Santa comes to the party. (The guy who dresses up as Santa was my grandpa’s friend and he REALLY looked like Santa, so it was awesome as a kid to see him right before Christmas, but no one in the family knew him as anything but Santa). Our parents would each wrap a present and he’d come in with a bag full of them. However, this year we decided to stop having Santa come since the youngest kids in the family are now teenagers.
Half way through the party on Saturday my grandpa gets on the microphone and says he has some bad news “Santa is dead.” It would have been sad that the poor guy died, but what my grandpa didn’t realize was that my dad’s cousin Patty brought her daughter no one knows and she has two small children that were running around on the dance floor. LMAO! They stopped when they heard him say that and looked DEVASTATED! >.< OMG! It was SO hilarious. It would have been different if he had said “Mr. so and so died” but no, he was just like “SANTAS DEAD” Everyone was laughing so hard. I almost fell off my chair. Those poor children!
That is hilarious and yet devistating.
I knew the guy that played Santa in my town's Christmas parade and he would also come to hockey christmas banquets and things. He was my friend's grandpa and ran the baseball league that I played in as a kid, so it would be kinda strange. I used to just say "hi Murray" when we went by on his parade float. He died this year too! 2 Santas died!
My Papa Frank (my dad's dad) apperently used to dress up as Santa at my parents christmas eve party every year, but he died when I was 4 months old so i dont remember. There is 1 pic that I made it in though with him as santa. All the aunts, uncles, cousins etc have a framed pic of him as Santa, but my parents keep it up year round. It's on top of a curio cabinet thingie in their livingroom, and i dont know how many times i heard "why do you have a picture of Santa up? It's July"
I dont really know when I stopped believing in Santa, but I can imagine being quite confused by it. There was Murray, there was Santa at the mall, there was this picture of my grandfather, and I have older siblings, so i cant imagine they kept it a secret very well. Also, apperently i felt no need to go see Santa at the mall, because I already sent him my letter. Very practical i was!
Traditionally in Finland Santa comes on Christmas Eve in person (especially if there are kids under 7 years old, with older people it's just presents under tree) and children sing to him. Before that there's been a huge meal, pickeld herring, smoked reindeer, pork, vegetable casserols, schnapps, beer etc.
So, in Finland, do reindeer pull Santa's sleigh? Because I see that you are eating them. Poor Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixon, Comet, Cupid, Donder, and Blitzen. ;o)
Yes this struck me as amusing too. Can't imagine that the whole reindeer thing is played up as much if they are part of the holiday meal.
They do the job and get eaten, not at the same time, though. There's plenty of reindeer in Lapland, you know. The only one with a name is the one with a red nose, Petteri Punakuono (Rudolf in your neck of woods)
When I was small my dad always used to go and see if Santa was coming yet, and surprise-surprise, he would come while my dad was away. Dad's standard story was that he must've gone around the house the wrong way and missed Santa. Another typical story is that the father is holding the reins of the reindeer while Santa goes indoors.
Just afew things. We also always got an orange in our stocking along with a chocolate santa. Always left a whisky and mice pie out for santa in case he was hungry and thirsty. When I was really young my dad would go and listen to the radio and tell us that it had just said on the radio that Santa was on the next island so we'd go to bed because he couldn't come while we were awake natch. For the last three or four years we've opened our presents after midnight mass. It's quite good because we're all dressed up and can have a drink while opening.
