and i was swamped enough to feel the need to google ideas on how to phrase bad news when i came up with these gems
1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering
needed information from his classmates.
(He was caught cheating on a test).
2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability.
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes).
3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).
4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that
high expectations don't intimidate her.
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term).
5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).
6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).
7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
(Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she
creates a class argument).
8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
(He's a bully).
9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore
new territory.
(Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond).
10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
(She's so immature that we've run out of diapers).
11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
(He must have written the Whiner's Guide).
12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be
enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
(Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must
repeat the 8th grade).
13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
(A mouth that never stops yacking).
*Since our last meeting , this student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
*His friends would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
*I would not allow this student to breed.
*This student is really not so much of a has-been as more of a definite won't-be.
*Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
*When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
*He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
*This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
*He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
*This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
*This student should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
*A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
*He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
*He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
*He's been working with glue too much.
*He would argue with a signpost.
*He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
*A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
*Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
*If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
*If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
*If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
*It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 others and made it to conception.
*Some drink from a fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met).
4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that
high expectations don't intimidate her.
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term).
6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
(Your son needs to stop socializing and start working).
8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
(He's a bully).
10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
(She's so immature that we've run out of diapers).
13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome!
(A mouth that never stops yacking).
*Since our last meeting , this student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
*His friends would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
*I would not allow this student to breed.
*This student is really not so much of a has-been as more of a definite won't-be.
*Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
*When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
*He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
*This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
*He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
*This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
*This student should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
*A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
*He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
*He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
*He's been working with glue too much.
*He would argue with a signpost.
*He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
*A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
*Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
*If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
*If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
*If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
*It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 others and made it to conception.
*Some drink from a fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
*Takes him 3 hours to watch 60 minutes.
All of these apply to almost everyone in my college classes. I wish I was joking.
It was absolutely awesome to compare my college report with my classmate's... Trouble is no-one spoke to me afterwards ;-D
