well yes :) but it's different here then on some dating - pages, isn't it? :) I mean, you didn't have these great big expectations before meeting a boardi - when you've already kinda get to know him here...but when it's a date - with someone u just met on the internet... - it's kinda awkard...
as for the speed dating: Is it like in these movies? 2 minutes til the bell rings and all men gotta change the places?
Go for it! If not for romantic reasons, it sounds like fun :)
I disagree with your first comment. How can you be so sure that people here on the forum are who they say they are?
I mean, it's great that people have met and partnered up through travisonline, and I myself have met people here and on the other music forum I post on. But what is to say that we're even close to how we describe ourselves on the board??? Is it more luck than judgement that we've made real-life friends here?
It should be a natural step, when you've been chatting here, to want to connect face to face with the people you've bonded with. But is that a safe choice to make? Personal experience says yes, and I've met "offline" with some lovely people. And yet logic, and deep rooted fear, screams no!!!
I'm putting this badly perhaps, but I am very cautious about making the transition from cyber relationships to real life ones!!! :)
And it's actually a bit spooky that I only recently had this exact same conversation with someone I've been chatting with on the music forum, and have never yet met in person. Though if they are as great as they sound, it will be lovely to meet them. But seriously, how do I know?
BUT I have to say, I agree with everyone who said it's worth a shot at the speed dating. What a great experience you could have.
All dating is a risk, in that you're starting a relationship with an unknown person, no matter how you've met. At least you've got a head start with the speed dating in that they are flesh and blood, more so than in travis-land.
there's this German movie, "Shoppen" (shopping) - it's about 10 characters "speed dating", and why they do it.
I thought it would be sooo lame (as about 2/3 of the movie are dedicated to the speed-dating session itself), but it's really funny... Nevertheless, watching it made me realise: I could never ever do this!! ;D
Tonie :) ok that's true - you can cheat as good as on a dating platform...
I just felt that, if I meet boardies at a concert or just for a coffee i go there with other expectations rather then if I met someone on a dating-page - and now we're supposed to have a good first date together.
If you go on date (blind date in that case) it's quite tricky...at least for me.
But meeting someone from here: at least I know they like the same kind of music, or we've got at least something to speak about - and there has nothing to work out - wheareas on a blind date, you've got (or I got) these expectations - to behave good, and don't screw it up etc etc etc. :)
But sure, go for it :)
And of course the brain would say "NO" - of course it's dangerouse - but hey, no risk no fun - one cannot hide forever - or if - it'd be a sad life :)
I don't have any experience of this but I had some luck with an internet fling once..
Where you met the girl first on the internet and afterwards in real life?
I don't know..but it's kinda strange. I don't have anything against friendships devolping on the internet but I have my doubts about internet-dating... since you're meeting the guy/girl with kinda high expectations - expectations which may cannot be met.
But I imagine speed dating is kinda fun...where you've got like 2 minutes to introduce yourself - and see whether you're tuned on the same wave ;) -
Ohterwise - it's just 2 minutes ;) So, no awkward quietness there! ;)
Well this was a long time a go, but infact she was a lot nicer and more good looking IRL. We even kissed the first time we met...And then it developed into some kind of relationship, but we were only a "fact" for a couple of weeks :P
This is the only positive experience I have from online dating, otherwise I'm pretty much against it..
Tonie :) ok that's true - you can cheat as good as on a dating platform...
I just felt that, if I meet boardies at a concert or just for a coffee i go there with other expectations rather then if I met someone on a dating-page - and now we're supposed to have a good first date together.
If you go on date (blind date in that case) it's quite tricky...at least for me.
But meeting someone from here: at least I know they like the same kind of music, or we've got at least something to speak about - and there has nothing to work out - wheareas on a blind date, you've got (or I got) these expectations - to behave good, and don't screw it up etc etc etc. :)
But sure, go for it :)
And of course the brain would say "NO" - of course it's dangerouse - but hey, no risk no fun - one cannot hide forever - or if - it'd be a sad life :)
I can absolutely see that. It's a question of the balance between trust and risk. About 3 years ago, I went to an Athlete gig on my own, in Brixton, London, about 20+ miles from my home, 3 train rides away! I met up with some boardies at an agreed time in a particular pub. It was fine- a huge success in fact, and it sealed for me many friendships beyond the message board.
But in hindsight, it could have been, well....doesn't bear thinking of. I don't think my brain was even functioning at the possible danger I was putting myself in. Although, I guess there were lots of them that I was meeting, and they couldn't all be stalker axe wielding mad men, could they??? :)
All I'm saying is that for every 20/50/100 bona fide lovely people on the board, there just might be one who says that they're a big Travis fan, but who in fact has another agenda.
Hell, maybe I'm paranoid. But, like I said, it's an exact conversation I have had only recently, so this part of the thread is topical for me.
And to digress further still, a while ago there was a story sent around by email, possibly an urban myth, of a teenage girl who got chatting online to a fellow sports fan, another teenage girl, on a relevant message board. During their chats she told the other girl her school, the team she played for, even the number on her shirt, where she lived etc etc. Some days later a policeman turned up at her house, and introduced himself as the "fellow sports fan" who had passed himself off as a girl of the same age and interests. He was policing the website for his job. He told the girl she had got off lightly.
So I hope you can see the dilemma that this subject poses in my mind...
And huge apologies for deviating from speed dating....
Hehe :) No speed dating is fun :) You can always send the guy to hell - without explaining yourself :) or go home alone or with whoever you want :) And 5' is too short for any danger :) I'd be going :)
Haha to that trust-thing :) I know someone who would totally disagree :) She's a total control frek - and to get her trust is soooooooooo difficult - so she always has a plan be - how to get out of a situation -for she can't be relaxed and trust that she's taken care of :)- but she has reasons, I guess...
I know a guy who's been dumped in a cinema during a blind date. She went to the toilets and never came back - that's pretty awful...
And another girl who's been dumped by her blinddate. He saw her - came to her, sat with her - and then started telling her all the reasons why she's a problem to the world:
(she's not the thinnest) so he went off like:
"You're the reason people in Africa starve to death - (you're obviously eating that amount too much - that they need)." "If I were you I'd kill myself for the greater good for the rest of the world " etc.
Said that - took him about 20 minutes -and left.
So yes, I can understand why trust in people gets lost.
But that was right, somehow you gotta meet people - and at some point - you gotta trust them - I guess...
About speed dating I have always been very curious and wishing some of my friends would do it so they could tell me about it. One did it last year for a laugh. It definitely was a laugh for her because she is a lesbian.
She had a great time and ended up connecting on a friend level with this one guy who turned out to be my husband's old college roommate! How random is that?
I vote do it if only for the experience. And so I can live vicariously through you.
About the tangent about internet relationships, I think I am middle of the road. I think it's wise to be cautious. Tonie, the story you told about the police officer showing up at a girl's door is, as far as I know, true. I recall reading that in a newspaper. It gave me chills.
And I do agree that someone can be someone different online, there are people on here I'm confident are the same in real life as they are here. Especially the people who post a lot would have a hard time not slipping up at some point.
And I agree with Kayte's point - you can meet someone in a more traditional way and they can be 10 times creepier or more dangerous than someone you meet online.
You never know I guess so use your head and your gut.
in keeping with Juli's challenge and a chat with my friend's brent and tressa...i've changed my 'hell no' to 'maybeeee'. ;) thanks for the encouragement boardies!
in keeping with Juli's challenge and a chat with my friend's brent and tressa...i've changed my 'hell no' to 'maybeeee'. ;) thanks for the encouragement boardies!
in keeping with Juli's challenge and a chat with my friend's brent and tressa...i've changed my 'hell no' to 'maybeeee'. ;) thanks for the encouragement boardies!
Go for it!! might be fun, and you never know you may even pick up some tips for meeting Mr.Right.
And I do agree that someone can be someone different online, there are people on here I'm confident are the same in real life as they are here. Especially the people who post a lot would have a hard time not slipping up at some point.
I'm glad you didn't notice that time I slipped up and mentioned that I'm really a 75 year old man with a wife, girlfriend and an extra special nurse on the side ;)
I love people bringing up how creepy boardies could be in real life when I am going to be in a hotel with a group of them in about 7 weeks! If I don't make it out alive, it's been lovely knowing you all. Someone please take care of my rabbit.
Two of my buddies are gonna be trying it next month and i think they've got a fun attitude about it...that whole 'you only live once' mentality....they want me to come with but i just cannot adopt that quality. i know, i'm a square but i just can't seem to shake it off. i feel anxious just thinking about what a forced awkward situation it would be for me and the other person.
I say go for it Goose. What have you got to lose? Worst thing that can happen is you don't enjoy it and waste an evening. Who cares, at least it would be a bit of banter to laugh about afterwards. 5 minutes is nothing, and the worst part of dating - the initial introduction and plucking up the courage to approach somebody and say 'hi' - is taken care of. And if you can't get any chat out of them, well thats as much their fault as it would be yours, and at the end of the 5 mins you move on to the next one and never have to see that person again if you so chose! You never know, you might meet the dude of your dreams. Say 'Yes' more!!
