Posts: 982 |
Tracey982 Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 6:24 PM |
I found this on another Message Board and loved it so much I thought I would post it up here...enjoy.
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford:
Dear Mrs.
Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:
1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when
they weren't looking.
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products
aisle.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in
housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15:
Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department
and told shoppers he'd
invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23:
When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and
asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4:
Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his
nose, and ate it.
9. November 10:
While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked
an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.
11. December 6:
In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size
funnels.
12. December 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK
ME!'
13. December 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal
position
and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very
loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here. |
|
|
Posts: 4469 |
Lemon Grinner Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 6:34 PM |
| Lmao, is this true? I hope it is. |
|
|
Posts: 982 |
Tracey982 Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 6:35 PM |
Lemon Grinner wrote: Lmao, is this true? I hope it is.
I think it's true...I found this on Ocean Colour Scene's MB!
:) |
|
|
Posts: 4469 |
Lemon Grinner Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 6:38 PM |
Tracey982 wrote: Lemon Grinner wrote: Lmao, is this true? I hope it is.
I think it's true...I found this on Ocean Colour Scene's MB!
:)
Oh I made a fanny of myself in front of Steve Sradock again today, was grinning at him like a fucker on happy pills and he just laughed at me... I feel so silly... |
|
|
Posts: 7404 |
Turtleneck Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 6:49 PM |
| No, it's not true. That has been going around for YEARS about Wal-Mart as funny things to try. Slightly different format, but the same. |
|
|
Posts: 982 |
Tracey982 Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 6:52 PM |
Lemon Grinner wrote: Tracey982 wrote: Lemon Grinner wrote: Lmao, is this true? I hope it is.
I think it's true...I found this on Ocean Colour Scene's MB!
:)
Oh I made a fanny of myself in front of Steve Sradock again today, was grinning at him like a fucker on happy pills and he just laughed at me... I feel so silly...
Where did you see him? I haven't met them before...I'm shit scared of making a fanny of myself and them telling me to fuck off heehee! |
|
|
Posts: 4469 |
Lemon Grinner Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 6:53 PM |
Tracey982 wrote: Lemon Grinner wrote: Tracey982 wrote: Lemon Grinner wrote: Lmao, is this true? I hope it is.
I think it's true...I found this on Ocean Colour Scene's MB!
:)
Oh I made a fanny of myself in front of Steve Sradock again today, was grinning at him like a fucker on happy pills and he just laughed at me... I feel so silly...
Where did you see him? I haven't met them before...I'm shit scared of making a fanny of myself and them telling me to fuck off heehee!
Went to see Weller this afternoony. Cradock has a nice arse! |
|
|
Posts: 982 |
Tracey982 Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 7:03 PM |
Lemon Grinner wrote: Tracey982 wrote: Lemon Grinner wrote: Tracey982 wrote: Lemon Grinner wrote: Lmao, is this true? I hope it is.
I think it's true...I found this on Ocean Colour Scene's MB!
:)
Oh I made a fanny of myself in front of Steve Sradock again today, was grinning at him like a fucker on happy pills and he just laughed at me... I feel so silly...
Where did you see him? I haven't met them before...I'm shit scared of making a fanny of myself and them telling me to fuck off heehee!
Went to see Weller this afternoony. Cradock has a nice arse!
Oooooh, Weller and Cradock in same room...feckin ace. I added You Do Something To Me to my Bebo page :) |
|
|
Posts: 3258 |
mili Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 8:47 PM |
| Ooh, thanks Tracey! My hubby insisted on sending this to a mr Murray we know… |
|
|
Posts: 2012 |
Darran Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 9:31 PM |
Craddock is a genius, he was so funny in Belfast when one the the security bouncers stopped a wee girl taking pictures of OCS and Stevie shook his head and saw me doing the same then stuck his tounge in his cheek ala cock in the mouth wanker and nodded to me towards the guy before laughing.
Twas excellent. |
|
|
Posts: 2782 |
Hanne Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 9:54 PM |
| I don't think it's true either. However, I wonder how many of these tricks have been tried out in real life by people who've read this mail! lol |
|
|
Posts: 2578 |
Esteban Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 10:01 PM |
| OCS board though. Is it still 1996 somewhere on the internet? |
|
|
Posts: 1184 |
Edel Posted Sat 21 Jun, 2008 10:38 PM |
Hanne wrote: I don't think it's true either. However, I wonder how many of these tricks have been tried out in real life by people who've read this mail! lol
Maybe Ikea got the idea for their ad from Nr 14. Think its Ikea anyway? |
|
|
Posts: 982 |
Tracey982 Posted Sun 22 Jun, 2008 12:20 PM |
Esteban wrote: OCS board though. Is it still 1996 somewhere on the internet?
Meh? |
|
|
