HER STORY:
He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar to meet him. I thought it might
have been because I was a bit late. He didn't say anything much about it. He
seemed silent, distracted and his only eye contact seemed judgmental. I decided
maybe I should never wear that dress again. Well, maybe it was the color. Maybe
I should never wear this color again either. The conversation was so slow going
so I thought maybe we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk
more privately. He didn't really seem to agree, but we went off to this quiet,
little restaurant and he's STILL acting a bit funny and I'm trying to cheer him
up, be witty, and tell cute stories, but I start to wonder whether it's me or
something else. He doesn't smile much, so I ask him, but he says no. But you
know I'm not really sure. I wonder and then I think about the 5 pounds I gained
this past month. I bet he thinks I'm a fat hog now. Anyway, in the cab back to
his house, I say that I love him and he just puts his arm around me, but doesn't
squeeze. I don't know what the hell this all means or what I should think
because you know he doesn't say it back or do anything. We finally get back to
his place and I'm wondering if he's going to dump me. So I try to ask him about
it, but he just switches on the TV. Reluctantly, I say I'm going to sleep. Then,
after about 10 minutes or so, he joins me and we have sex. But, he still seems
really, really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave. I roll over and
sniffle a little real quietly. He snores. I don’t know, I just don't know, what
he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else?
HIS STORY:
Hard day at work. Really tired. Got laid though.
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months,
yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for
her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through
the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business
failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the
house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my
side... You know what?"
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months,
yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for
her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through
the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business
failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the
house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my
side... You know what?"
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes
home. One day she picked up the urn he was in, and poured him out on the coffee
table.
Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes.
She said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She answered by
saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered
again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Then she said, "And remember the big beautiful house that sits at the top of
the hill that I fell in love with and you said we couldn't afford?" Once more
she answered saying, "Well I bought that too with the insurance money and I love
living here”.
Still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow
job I promised you? Here it comes ..."
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes
home. One day she picked up the urn he was in, and poured him out on the coffee
table.
Then she started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes.
She said, "You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?" She answered by
saying, "I bought it with the insurance money!"
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?" She answered
again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Then she said, "And remember the big beautiful house that sits at the top of
the hill that I fell in love with and you said we couldn't afford?" Once more
she answered saying, "Well I bought that too with the insurance money and I love
living here”.
Still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow
job I promised you? Here it comes ..."
Haha! Well that is a reason for guys to be gay I think.
