Travis

   
Too quick to judge?
TheBoyWithAName
Posts: 4822
TheBoyWithAName Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 6:07 PM Quote
So yesterday I started chatting with a girl and after 10 minutes she wrote: "You're boring, I'm gonna block you now" and then she was gone...

I really appreciate honesty, but c'mon give me a chance!
I'm facing this more and more nowadays, without hesitating people are saying: "This music's crap!", "He's an idiot!", "She's too fat" etc. Is this a result of us being raised in an information society where we have chose between different things all of the time? What happened to good manners and being a bit more open?

Discuss!
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
Turtleneck
Posts: 7404
Turtleneck Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 6:18 PM Quote
How old was this person? Perhaps it was just plain ol' "youth" and the bluntness and unthinking rudeness that sometimes goes along with it.
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
TheBoyWithAName
Posts: 4822
TheBoyWithAName Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 6:23 PM Quote
19 or 20 I think. Isn't that a bit too old to blame it on the youth? Like I'm only 22(soon 23).
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
Turtleneck
Posts: 7404
Turtleneck Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 6:29 PM Quote
I was still quite a twit at 19.
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
I Came in Through the Bathroom Window
Posts: 7556
I Came in Through the Bathroom Window Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 6:32 PM Quote
I agree with Kayte.
And I also think it's her loss.
Sometimes I don't like people when I first meet them but they end up being some of my closest friends. It's happened to me quite a few times already :oP.
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
TheBoyWithAName
Posts: 4822
TheBoyWithAName Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 6:34 PM Quote
It just annoys the hell out of me and it's really frustrating when I know I'm not boring :P I would never do that to someone.

So you say this is a girly behaviour?
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
Turtleneck
Posts: 7404
Turtleneck Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 6:48 PM Quote
Girls who think they are hot snot would do that. I wasn't rude in that way, but when I say I was still a twit at 19, I mean I probably wasn't as considerate of other people as I could have/should have been and I was still very immature in a lot of ways.

Let it roll off you like water off a duck's back, Alex. There are plenty of nice people out there; you just found a dud.

One of the things I've notice as I've gotten older is that everyone has something cool about them if you stick around long enough to find it.
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
TheBoyWithAName
Posts: 4822
TheBoyWithAName Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 6:52 PM Quote
Turtleneck wrote:
Girls who think they are hot snot would do that. I wasn't rude in that way, but when I say I was still a twit at 19, I mean I probably wasn't as considerate of other people as I could have/should have been and I was still very immature in a lot of ways.

Let it roll off you like water off a duck's back, Alex. There are plenty of nice people out there; you just found a dud.

One of the things I've notice as I've gotten older is that everyone has something cool about them if you stick around long enough to find it.


You're a very cool lady Kayte! :)

And I'm the kind of person who likes to hunt the "hard to get"-girls... It's something I need to work with cause I'm not getting anything out of it no more :P

Anyway don't you think people in general have become quicker to judge?
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
Turtleneck
Posts: 7404
Turtleneck Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 7:05 PM Quote
Thanks, Alex.

The more choices a person is faced with, the quicker a decision has to be made I guess.

Maybe it all goes back to "first impressions."

You know right away if your coffee tastes like tar, but you may make the decision never to go back to that restaurant and you'll never know that they actually make the best cheesecake in the world. But there's so many restaurants, why go back there when you got a bad coffee?

One of my old supervisors told me something like this, I may have the percentages wrong, but the idea is there.

10% of people will like you without having any real reason. Maybe you remind them of someone else they like. They may think you're nice looking. Whatever. They'll just like you right off the bat.
60% of people will like you once they get to know you.
20% of people will dislike you once they get to know you.
10% of people will dislike you instantly for no reason. You may remind them of someone they dislike. They think you're ugly, etc.
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
TheBoyWithAName
Posts: 4822
TheBoyWithAName Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 7:17 PM Quote
Turtleneck wrote:
Thanks, Alex.

The more choices a person is faced with, the quicker a decision has to be made I guess.

Maybe it all goes back to "first impressions."

You know right away if your coffee tastes like tar, but you may make the decision never to go back to that restaurant and you'll never know that they actually make the best cheesecake in the world. But there's so many restaurants, why go back there when you got a bad coffee?

One of my old supervisors told me something like this, I may have the percentages wrong, but the idea is there.

10% of people will like you without having any real reason. Maybe you remind them of someone else they like. They may think you're nice looking. Whatever. They'll just like you right off the bat.
60% of people will like you once they get to know you.
20% of people will dislike you once they get to know you.
10% of people will dislike you instantly for no reason. You may remind them of someone they dislike. They think you're ugly, etc.


The human mind is a weird, but interesting thing!
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
Cynthia
Posts: 152
Cynthia Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 8:02 PM Quote
TheBoyWithAName wrote:
It just annoys the hell out of me and it's really frustrating when I know I'm not boring :P I would never do that to someone.

So you say this is a girly behaviour?


I don't think gender has much to do with it. I know men and women who are quick to judge. I figure it's her loss; if she's the type of person that acts that way, why would you want to waste YOUR time and energy?

I'm 28, and a few months ago I had a discussion with an older colleague who told me that nobody's really an adult until they're 30! I like to think we all (hopefully!) get wiser with age - of course I know more at 28 than at 18, because I've had more life experience! I'm sure I'll know more at 38 than at 28. . .

I also should mention that some of my absolute closest and dearest friends didn't make a great first impression - nor did I to them! I firmly believe that patience is a virtue - especially when applied to getting to know someone new!
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
TheBoyWithAName
Posts: 4822
TheBoyWithAName Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 8:10 PM Quote
Cynthia wrote:
TheBoyWithAName wrote:
It just annoys the hell out of me and it's really frustrating when I know I'm not boring :P I would never do that to someone.

So you say this is a girly behaviour?


I don't think gender has much to do with it. I know men and women who are quick to judge. I figure it's her loss; if she's the type of person that acts that way, why would you want to waste YOUR time and energy?

I'm 28, and a few months ago I had a discussion with an older colleague who told me that nobody's really an adult until they're 30! I like to think we all (hopefully!) get wiser with age - of course I know more at 28 than at 18, because I've had more life experience! I'm sure I'll know more at 38 than at 28. . .

I also should mention that some of my absolute closest and dearest friends didn't make a great first impression - nor did I to them! I firmly believe that patience is a virtue - especially when applied to getting to know someone new!


Actually I did my best to do a good first impression. Always when I meet someone new I ask them a lot of questions and try to be as interesting as I can, but it's a bit hard when all you get back is: "Haha okay.".

I'm a bit weird(you all know that). I enjoy fighting hard to win people over. It's less fun with people who totally adores you after 10 seconds, actually I find that a bit unattractive :P
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
megg_inc
Posts: 3778
megg_inc Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 8:13 PM Quote
I used to almost hate my now best friend when we were in middle school without even speaking to him ever just because his mate broke my friend's heart. Then in high school we finally got to know each other and know he's one of the most important people in my life.

So yeah, sometimes first impressions may be misleading!
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
megg_inc
Posts: 3778
megg_inc Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 8:17 PM Quote
TheBoyWithAName wrote:


Actually I did my best to do a good first impression. Always when I meet someone new I ask them a lot of questions and try to be as interesting as I can, but it's a bit hard when all you get back is: "Haha okay.".


Or you're trying too hard maybe?
 
Re: Too quick to judge?
TheBoyWithAName
Posts: 4822
TheBoyWithAName Posted Wed 29 Apr, 2009 8:18 PM Quote
megg_inc wrote:
TheBoyWithAName wrote:


Actually I did my best to do a good first impression. Always when I meet someone new I ask them a lot of questions and try to be as interesting as I can, but it's a bit hard when all you get back is: "Haha okay.".


Or you're trying too hard maybe?


Can you try TOO hard?
 
Pages [1] 2 3 Next All Times BST Current Time 9:47 PM
Post Reply