Posts: 41 |
Emmy Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 4:54 AM |
Hi. First off, sorry to burden you all with a question that many of you may have a simple answer for, but I genuinely need tips and advice on this.
Basically, there's a guy I'm interested in. He works at a museum and I work for a newspaper in the same town. Pretty soon the museum will have a new exhibit out, so he's sending in lots of stuff for the paper to run. Anyway, I've spoken to him briefly when he's called to see if we've gotten the stuff he's sent.
I talked to him a couple of times, and he's been very nice and friendly (I guess diplomatic and cordial would be a better word, since it was strictly business talk!).
Anyway, I've worked quite close with the museum employees in the past and have a strong interest in the museum in general, consquently I'm up there at least once a month as part of my job. Since I'm friends with many people there, I've asked them about his love status, and apparently he's single like I am...where know where I'm going with this, right?
Anyway, I know what I should do as now people at the museum as well as at the paper say I should go for it, but how? I haven't dated since graduating from grad school (2 plus years ago), and haven't had any real serious interest in guys into this one. So how should I approach him without looking obvious, but letting him know I'm interested in him?
What do guys think when it's the girl making the first move? Some friends have said wait for the guy to make the first move, but judging from past interests, that does nothing but bite me in the ass.
So, any advice from anyone would be much appreciated. It would be great to know both the guys and girls perspectives on this. Thanks in advance! |
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Posts: 1726 |
Somewhere Else Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 5:48 AM |
Ask him to help you with something...anything...get a flat battery or something! Fall over! Dummy heart attack , maybe not , not that sexy lol It gives you time for personal talk and then you can thank him with a small card later or ask him for a drink to thanks him :)
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Posts: 906 |
spid Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 8:35 AM |
| Just go for it - ask him out for a drink - it's better to find out if he likes you enough to go out with you quickly rather than dragging out the 'shall I shan't I?' stage for ages (by then you're friends and it's too awkward to take it further). I don't think guys worry about who does the asking. If i'd waited for my husband to make the first move i'd still be waiting 20 years on!No-one wants to get hurt or embarrassed but if you don't take a risk now the chances are that the embarrassment will be greater etc. If he says no to a dates now you can still be friends; if you're friends and he turns down a date it is much more awkward to be friends. |
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Posts: 7598 |
weirdmom Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 2:12 PM |
Since you had mutual friends why not arrange some group outing to a bar or restaurant? Then you go chat with him about non-work things and see if there seems to be a connection.
Perhaps that will give you a little more confidence about the situation and you can be bold and ask him to do something one-on-one. |
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Posts: 10115 |
ricv64 Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 2:19 PM |
Emmy wrote:
What do guys think when it's the girl making the first move? Some friends have said wait for the guy to make the first move, but judging from past interests, that does nothing but bite me in the ass.
i don't think it matters on who makes the first move . Besides men into art are dumb as a rock .
I forget if it was Balzac or Zola who refered to someone being as dumd as a painter |
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Posts: 7404 |
Turtleneck Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 2:28 PM |
ricv64 wrote:
dumd as a painter
Paint much? ;o)
Interesting quote. I'll have to pass that along to a certain someone who is bound to disagree. |
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Posts: 8299 |
Scottish Dubliner Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 2:48 PM |
Most Painters (decorators) I have met are thick as a whale omlette.
Here's a chat up line that always works...
ask him "do you fancy a f@ck ?"
If he says "No"
Then reply "Well, would you mind lying down so I can have one"
Dubz |
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Posts: 1129 |
mozman68 Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 2:58 PM |
weirdmom wrote: Since you had mutual friends why not arrange some group outing to a bar or restaurant? Then you go chat with him about non-work things and see if there seems to be a connection.
Perhaps that will give you a little more confidence about the situation and you can be bold and ask him to do something one-on-one.
That's usually when you find out he's attracted to one of your friends instead of you and then you go into a deep depression and decide to crawl into a hole for another two years.....most guys are big pusses and are afraid of rejection...ask him out for a drink and see where it goes...and don't put out for a couple of dates... |
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Posts: 7598 |
weirdmom Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 3:40 PM |
mozman68 wrote: weirdmom wrote: Since you had mutual friends why not arrange some group outing to a bar or restaurant? Then you go chat with him about non-work things and see if there seems to be a connection.
Perhaps that will give you a little more confidence about the situation and you can be bold and ask him to do something one-on-one.
That's usually when you find out he's attracted to one of your friends instead of you and then you go into a deep depression and decide to crawl into a hole for another two years.....most guys are big pusses and are afraid of rejection...ask him out for a drink and see where it goes...and don't put out for a couple of dates...
LOL. Well she asked for the male and female perspective. I think we're all afraid of rejection. Perhaps men feel it more because they are usually expected to make the move.
So maybe she should invite friends but only ones who aren't single and/or are gay. |
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Posts: 105 |
Erial Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 3:54 PM |
spid wrote: Just go for it - ask him out for a drink - it's better to find out if he likes you enough to go out with you quickly rather than dragging out the 'shall I shan't I?' stage for ages (by then you're friends and it's too awkward to take it further).
I completely agree. I haven't got loads of experience, but setting up a group outing with non-single/gay friends only seems too complicated for such a simple situation. Really, all it takes is a simple question (and, well, the guts to ask it, ehe). Good luck! |
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Posts: 906 |
spid Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 4:03 PM |
Erial wrote: spid wrote: Just go for it - ask him out for a drink - it's better to find out if he likes you enough to go out with you quickly rather than dragging out the 'shall I shan't I?' stage for ages (by then you're friends and it's too awkward to take it further).
I completely agree. I haven't got loads of experience, but setting up a group outing with non-single/gay friends only seems too complicated for such a simple situation. Really, all it takes is a simple question (and, well, the guts to ask it, ehe). Good luck!
such a wise head on such young shoulders |
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Posts: 7598 |
weirdmom Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 4:40 PM |
Erial wrote: spid wrote: Just go for it - ask him out for a drink - it's better to find out if he likes you enough to go out with you quickly rather than dragging out the 'shall I shan't I?' stage for ages (by then you're friends and it's too awkward to take it further).
I completely agree. I haven't got loads of experience, but setting up a group outing with non-single/gay friends only seems too complicated for such a simple situation. Really, all it takes is a simple question (and, well, the guts to ask it, ehe). Good luck!
I was being sarcastic when I was saying she should only invite single and/or gay friends but I guess I could have made that clearer. : )
I agree that a simple direct approach is best but it seems like she is feeling a bit nervous about that so I wanted to throw out a side approach. |
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Posts: 105 |
Erial Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 4:50 PM |
weirdmom wrote:
I was being sarcastic when I was saying she should only invite single and/or gay friends but I guess I could have made that clearer. : )
Ehe, sorry! I didn't think you were being sarcastic because I've seen people playing matchmakers or setting up dates and coming up with MUCH more complicated/crazy ideas, and they were completely serious, ehe. |
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Posts: 10115 |
ricv64 Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 5:10 PM |
| I belive that the weird mommy/ turtleneck dating center went bust after that Megg /moray fiasco . so be carefull of their advice , listen to Spid |
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Posts: 7598 |
weirdmom Posted Fri 01 Aug, 2008 5:30 PM |
ricv64 wrote: I belive that the weird mommy/ turtleneck dating center went bust after that Megg /moray fiasco . so be carefull of their advice , listen to Spid
LOL. There may be some truth to that statement but our client Moray also wasn't very apt in listening to our advice so the blame can't be put squarely on our shoulders. |
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