Posts: 8468 |
AbsolutPurple Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 7:51 PM |
MEN because you...
1 Wear side-buckle shoes
2 Use the word “chillax”, as in “chillax, babe”
3 Use the word “babe”
4 Have glow-in-the-dark stars above your bed
5 Have nothing but a broken sandwich toaster, a camp bed and a 60in plasma screen in your flat
6 Believe that certain things are self-cleaning
7 Wear short-sleeved shirts in the summer, but are not a postman
8 Wear a duffel coat in the winter, but are not Paddington Bear
9 Have “Thug Life” tattooed across the back of your neck
10 Have sold your forehead to an internet advertising agency
11 Affectionately address your friends as “stinker”
12 Prefer the “fist bump” when meeting strangers, and always insist they “lock it in”
13 Have knees that chafe
14 Regard the in-flight meal as the highlight of any flight, or holiday, for that matter
15 Own a pair of Crocs
16 Are only gay when you’re drunk
17 Stand for the national anthem
18 Refuse to remove your Bluetooth headset before making love
19 Throw baked beans at people who tease you
20 Shave your legs “for sporting purposes”
21 Have ever taken more than one mobile-phone photograph of your genitals
22 Have telephoned in a late-night radio dedication
23 Have a stuffed parrot on your shoulder
24 Believe all worthwhile women are under 25
25 Have a name for it
WOMEN because you...
1 Have a calendar stuck to your wall with pictures of babies in plant pots
2 Have a “lucky” thong
3 Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed
4 Still use scrunchies
5 Are described by your friends as “mad!”
6 Are described by your friends as “Samantha”
7 Know all the words to Mariah Carey’s Hero
8 Have written poetry in Costa Coffee
9 Use the expression “defo”
10 Have an extremely long nail on one of your little fingers
11 Have ever got corn rows on holiday
12 Get visibly angry if people don’t get what you’re trying to mime in charades
13 Spell your name with a “y”, where there should really be an “i”, as in “Clayre”
14 Dot your “i”s with a circle
15 Posed with your cat for your Facebook profile photo
16 Have a five o’clock shadow
17 Have bought yourself a Ginsters All Day Breakfast Roll
18 Write in coloured ink and/or use smiley faces in handwritten letters
19 Think the energy crisis can be solved with crystals
20 Will not relinquish control
21 Spend all your time with your best friend and her husband
22 Own 27 volumes of Now That’s What I Call Music!
23 Have mistakenly given yourself “wedding hair”, thanks to overzealous use of curling tongs
24 Have said, “Oh my God, you’re a Gemini?”
25 Own a pair of leather trousers
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Posts: 1381 |
happy_me Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 7:57 PM |
So that leaves me with two reasons for why I'm single...
3 Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed (to my defence it's a big cow that my friends got me for my previous birthday)
5 Are described by your friends as “mad!” (now this one is impossible to change...)
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Posts: 3778 |
megg_inc Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 7:58 PM |
| I'm not guilty of any of those! So why? Whyyyy? LOL |
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Posts: 8468 |
AbsolutPurple Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 7:58 PM |
for women :
21 Spend all your time with your best friend and her husband
well if you spend all you time like this you're either :
the guy's mistress
lesbian |
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Posts: 1381 |
happy_me Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 7:59 PM |
Maybe you smell?
Nah, I bet you smell like flowers ;) |
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Posts: 7556 |
I Came in Through the Bathroom Window Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 7:59 PM |
AbsolutPurple wrote:
WOMEN because you...
5 Are described by your friends as “mad!”
18 Write in coloured ink and/or use smiley faces in handwritten letters
So this is why I'm still single... |
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Posts: 3778 |
megg_inc Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 7:59 PM |
AbsolutPurple wrote: for women :
21 Spend all your time with your best friend and her husband
well if you spend all you time like this you're either :
the guy's mistress
lesbian
and/or they both want to kill you |
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Posts: 2291 |
Gladly (the cross-eyed bear) Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 8:00 PM |
| 0 out of 50 |
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Posts: 8468 |
AbsolutPurple Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 8:02 PM |
megg_inc wrote: AbsolutPurple wrote: for women :
21 Spend all your time with your best friend and her husband
well if you spend all you time like this you're either :
the guy's mistress
lesbian
and/or they both want to kill you
or you're into threesome !
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Posts: 3778 |
megg_inc Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 8:03 PM |
AbsolutPurple wrote: megg_inc wrote: AbsolutPurple wrote: for women :
21 Spend all your time with your best friend and her husband
well if you spend all you time like this you're either :
the guy's mistress
lesbian
and/or they both want to kill you
or you're into threesome !
lol, could be! |
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Posts: 8468 |
AbsolutPurple Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 8:03 PM |
Gladly (the cross-eyed bear) wrote: 0 out of 50
you checked both genders then !!! |
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Posts: 906 |
spid Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 8:03 PM |
AbsolutPurple wrote:
WOMEN because you...
5 Are described by your friends as “mad!”
11 Have ever got corn rows on holiday
18 Write in coloured ink and/or use smiley faces in handwritten letters
20 Will not relinquish control
25 Own a pair of leather trousers
ANd yet i am married and have been happily so for 15 years! Maybe you should have more than 3 or these and then you will get a partner! |
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Posts: 2291 |
Gladly (the cross-eyed bear) Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 8:06 PM |
The stuffed toy thing made me laugh.Thats a big no lol. Thats up there with daddy issues and living alone with cats.
These women must be avoided at all costs. |
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Posts: 8468 |
AbsolutPurple Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 8:09 PM |
Gladly (the cross-eyed bear) wrote: The stuffed toy thing made me laugh.Thats a big no lol. Thats up there with daddy issues and living alone with cats.
These women must be avoided at all costs.
stuff animals are cute |
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Posts: 8299 |
Scottish Dubliner Posted Mon 07 Jan, 2008 8:11 PM |
How about...
1. Spend all your time on the interweb in Chatrooms/Messageboards instead of actually going out and meeting people???
2. See Above
:p
Dubz |
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