Posts: 41 |
Emmy Posted Sun 26 Oct, 2008 4:49 PM |
Okay, I know the very little that I post here usually has to do with relationships and love. Soz. I also know that it can be pretty boring to read. But, many of you have been very helpful in the past in my past questions, so maybe you can help me out here, too.
I'm single, but would like to have a relationship, although I'm in no rush. However, a very attractive guy has started working at my work and in the same department that I work in. He started last Friday and was held captive in supervisors office learning about the layout of his new workload and stuff, so I hardly had the chance to talk to him.
I did meet him briefly and couldn't take my eyes off him and kept thinking that maybe he's the one...and it wasn't because of his good looks either. It was something about him that I can't describe. Of course, I have had this feeling before over guys, but this seems to go to a different level...does that make sense? Something about him makes me want to pursue more than any guy I've ever seen or met.
I don't know if he's single or not, but one coworker thinks he's availalbe. My problem is that I can get stupidly shy sometimes when I'm trying to express an interest in a relationship more than an acquaintance with a guy. I don't know if that makes sense either, but hopefully you know what I mean.
Anyway, any tips out there to help let this guy know that I'm interested in him? Small talk advice? I know the answers are pretty obvious, but maybe somebody has some wisdom that I haven't heard before from friends and coworkers.
Thanks in advance. |
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spid Posted Sun 26 Oct, 2008 5:50 PM |
| just be yourself |
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sorry angel Posted Sun 26 Oct, 2008 7:54 PM |
| just be yourself and let him do the work to start with : wait and observe, way too early to do anything else. |
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sorry angel Posted Sun 26 Oct, 2008 7:55 PM |
| and to answer your question in subject : right now : NO it isn't. |
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mili Posted Sun 26 Oct, 2008 8:15 PM |
sorry angel wrote: and to answer your question in subject : right now : NO it isn't.
I agree.
Get to know the man, see if you REALLY like him as a person, never mind the looks. Statistically it's pretty common to find love at work, but tread carefully! |
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weirdmom Posted Sun 26 Oct, 2008 9:13 PM |
| Definitely just be friendly and get to know him. Then you can determine what you really think of him. Let's just start there! |
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Lizzie b Posted Mon 27 Oct, 2008 11:04 AM |
| this probably is not what u want to hear, but my personal advice is DON'T date a co-worker. i did and it was HORRIBLE after we broke up. i'm not saying u will break up, but if u do it could get messy. why risk that? this sounds SO cliche, but how about being friends first? make sure that u get along BEFORE u take it to that level. i know u want a relationship, but be patient. u don't want to rush into something that is not right and have it end horribly. lay a foundation and see if it is worth it before u commit. i think this is especially good advice because u work together and will have to spend time together no matter what happens. what if u DO hit it off? then u have to spend 24/7 w/ that person. now i love my husband, but i need to not see him ALL the time. but most importantly, u need to see if your company has a policy on this BEFORE u even decide to do anything. u wouldn't want to get fired for dating a co-worker, would u? |
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Posts: 41 |
Emmy Posted Tue 28 Oct, 2008 3:08 AM |
Lizzie b wrote: this probably is not what u want to hear, but my personal advice is DON'T date a co-worker. i did and it was HORRIBLE after we broke up. i'm not saying u will break up, but if u do it could get messy. why risk that? this sounds SO cliche, but how about being friends first? make sure that u get along BEFORE u take it to that level. i know u want a relationship, but be patient. u don't want to rush into something that is not right and have it end horribly. lay a foundation and see if it is worth it before u commit. i think this is especially good advice because u work together and will have to spend time together no matter what happens. what if u DO hit it off? then u have to spend 24/7 w/ that person. now i love my husband, but i need to not see him ALL the time. but most importantly, u need to see if your company has a policy on this BEFORE u even decide to do anything. u wouldn't want to get fired for dating a co-worker, would u?
I actually thought about this. And if somethingwere to happen, then I'd definetly look into company policies before and if it got serious. I agree, no one should be joined literally at the hip. Maybe explains my single status as well!
Thanks for the wake up call, though. And thanks everyone else for your replies.
One more thing: i work in a cube (just like the office!) and know that my coworkers spy on everything that is said, so how can i start up a conversation with this guy in a way that is subtle yet direct and shows that there's interest without being spread all over the place. There's hardly a place to escape for privacy without one other party chiming in!
Thanks again. |
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weirdmom Posted Tue 28 Oct, 2008 2:20 PM |
I think you just need to talk to him as a co-worker who is trying to get to know their co-worker. Don't worry about letting him know you're interested because until you have a reasonable amount of interaction you're not going to be able to determine if what you're feeling is true.
And if you're just having a friendly chit chat with your new co-worker that isn't much to spy on so you won't have to worry about that either. |
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Darran Posted Tue 28 Oct, 2008 2:22 PM |
| Spill coffee on him accidently and not whilst it is boiling hot. |
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