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weirdmom Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 5:16 PM |
If you are hosting a shower, are you still expected to get the guest of honor a present?
Edit: just noticed I left the "er" off on the subject line. LOL at baby show. |
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mili Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 5:29 PM |
Gosh, you Americans lead a complicated life!! We don't even have baby showers here.
I should think that if you're the one providing roof, food and drink, that should be enough, or at least don't get anything big.
Here in Finland we have a lovely system, where the new mother-to-be gets a parcel from the state. The box everything comes in acts as a first bed for the baby (there are tips to make it more cozy), inside there are baby clothes, nappies, plastic sheet, a sleeping bag/overalls (Finnish kids have their day snooze outdoors all year round) etc. Alternatively you can get the help in form of money, about 600 € (the parcel is worth more).
here's what they get this year:
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ricv64 Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 5:36 PM |
Texas hospitality ? you holding it at frans burgers ?
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minnmess Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 5:42 PM |
holy crap! you get all that from the government??
Anne, i would say if you are providing the food and your house and stuff, a gift wouldnt be necessary, but something small would be nice. Even if it was something like...a frame and then take a pic of all the lovely ladies at the shower. Get it engraved with the shower date or something... |
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Moray Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 5:50 PM |
weirdmom wrote:
Edit: just noticed I left the "er" off on the subject line. LOL at baby show.
haha, I'm glad you changed that! I was very close to replying with some baby show / dog show chat, with a big fat WTF to boot!! |
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Turtleneck Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 5:55 PM |
That's a good question....hmmmm. The host of my bridal shower gave me a gift. My baby shower was at my mom's house, so that doesn't really count. I've tried looking online and found nothing to answer that. I'd say something small and sentimental would be nice. Apparently the mom-to-be is supposed to give you a gift for hosting.
Mili--we get nothing from the government. We get a diaper bag from a formula company with some samples and coupons. You're on your own.
I did receive a County governmental gift when I applied for my marriage license, which I thought was hilarious--a roll of toilet paper, a sample of dish detergent, and a makeup kit with a neutral color nail polish and lipstick. And I actually wore the lipstick on my wedding day because I happened to like it. |
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weirdmom Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 6:02 PM |
Milli, that stuff looks awesome!
Here the government doesn't give you stuff but you can tons of samples at the hospital from various companies. No gorgeous clothes though!!
Of course the majority of the samples are for formula and that bugs me because I don't believe bottle feeding should be allowed to be so heavily promoted if they aren't giving equal time to educate new moms on how to successfully nurse.
But I digress.
I, along with 3 others, am hosting a massive baby shower for a good friend. Her husband (more than her) really wanted it to be a co-ed thing. So really it's more just a big party because there is no way we're playing cheesy shower games with guys there. (she's anti-game anyway) I think they'll be about 60 people there.
We all are "in charge" of various details according to our talents and interests. Mine is food. Straight up I said that we need to make sure it's fair since food is obviously the most expensive part and just because I am in charge doesn't mean I should be paying for it all. They agreed.
Well the person in charge of decorations is using baby blankets and other actual baby items from their registry as tableclothes and decorations. I think this is a great- it'll be cute and all this random crepe paper and stuff isn't going to go in the trash after the party. She's also gotten plates, cups, and napkins. And the plan is obviously to give all of that to the couple after the party as their gift.
Today she said she is maxed out and can't contribute anymore to the shower. I understand and respect that but if she is saying this is a gift then isn't she kind of double dipping??
Even though it seems like a lot more often than not I still see the hostess giving a gift. And she is giving a gift.
But then by this logic she's getting out of contributing as a hostess to the other parts of the party by saying she has spent this money already. But shouldn't it be seen as a gift- something in addition to the party?
I guess bottom line is I am still stressed I'm going to have to fight tooth and nail to make sure I'm not stuck with a food bill for 60 people!
My thought is we all agree on some amount we can pay and then there is a pot that we're all drawing from. It's just hard because I don't know these other women very well so it's hard to talk about delicate things like money. |
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mili Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 6:06 PM |
minnmess wrote: holy crap! you get all that from the government??
That's not all! There's 10 months' paid maternity leave and you can stay home about one and half years without losing your job. The money is lower than your regular salary for those 10 months and it gets even lower after that.
Here's some facts if you can be bothered to read them:
http://www.kela.fi/in/internet/english.nsf/NET/081101125811EH?openDocument
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minnmess Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 6:07 PM |
| i concur. |
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weirdmom Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 6:12 PM |
Upon second inspection I think that gold package (maybe it's lotion or shampoo) looks like a pack of condoms. That would be hilarious! |
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Turtleneck Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 6:14 PM |
Anne, a pre-shower budget plan would be a great idea. Each contributes an equal amount to the pot, although each person's portion used might be different. It would be awkward to find out what "maxed out" lady has already spent, though. Ugh, tight spot.
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Posts: 3258 |
mili Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 6:16 PM |
weirdmom wrote:
Upon second inspection I think that gold package (maybe it's lotion or shampoo) looks like a pack of condoms. That would be hilarious!
It IS a pack of condoms…
About your forthcoming baby shower, surley you can't be expected to cater for 60 people!!! It's not a wedding or something like that. I think the idea of everybody putting something (equal) towards the expenses + maybe a small token from you would be just about right. |
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Posts: 7598 |
weirdmom Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 6:21 PM |
Turtleneck wrote: Anne, a pre-shower budget plan would be a great idea. Each contributes an equal amount to the pot, although each person's portion used might be different. It would be awkward to find out what "maxed out" lady has already spent, though. Ugh, tight spot.
I had this idea a few days ago and was planning to bring it up. I know I still can but she's made it a bit more difficult since she's already decided she is maxed out.
Who knows what she has spent but last time I checked receiving blankets and onesies weren't the priciest of items. And she and her husband are doing just fine so really. |
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Posts: 8142 |
minnmess Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 6:21 PM |
hahaha, they dont want you having more children so they have to shell out more of these packages
Here, i think you get...17 or 18 weeks before the paper is born and a year paternity leave after the child is born. the dad can take time too, but i dont know how much that is. I think maybe also a year. |
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spid Posted Fri 24 Oct, 2008 7:13 PM |
Mili - that is a fantastic package - wow!
Anne - if you host and provide drinks and refreshments I would say only a very little something would be a nice geture - i agree with maybe a photo frame with a piccy of all of you in (but not an expensive frame). Hosting costs money too! |
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