Posts: 8299 |
Scottish Dubliner Posted Wed 30 Apr, 2008 4:08 PM |
Do you like chicken ? Suck my C*ck it's fowl.
Do you like Jewelery ? Suck my C*ck it's a gem
Fancy a f*ck ? No, Well can you lie down while I have one
Can you drive ? Well back onto this (accompied with pelvis thrust)
Non pick up lines...
She has a face like a welder's bench
She fell off the Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down.
I wouldn't ride her into battle.
Dubz
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Posts: 6 |
kylie227 Posted Wed 30 Apr, 2008 4:16 PM |
Helen *the original* wrote: Not a chat up line but last time me and my friends were out in town the place we were in was full of Irish people (ready to go to united the next day) and one guy came over and actually did a jig in front of my friend in a way to get her to dance with him! The funny part wasn't the jig, it was the fact the guy was completly sober and had a face on him like he was super concentrating and expected it to work...bless.
Awww. I would have danced with the guy after that :P
My favourite pick up lines (and ones that would totally work on me) are here, at "Geoffrey Chaucer"'s blog (you have to scroll down a bit): Do sheriffs administer thee to those who break the king's peace? Because thou lookest "fine." I love Olde English. It took me a while to understand some of them, but they're funny! |
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goosey_84 Posted Wed 30 Apr, 2008 5:02 PM |
Scottish Dubliner wrote:
Can you drive ? Well back onto this (accompied with pelvis thrust)
LOL that one is money! |
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Posts: 1635 |
Chiito-chan Posted Wed 30 Apr, 2008 7:18 PM |
I Came in Through the Bathroom Window wrote: I got my first "funny" pickup line tonight hahaha.
I was leaving uni tonight, alone (not so nice at 11 pm) and this guy passed by me, stopped and said "if you tell me your name I will wish for you to the Three Wise Men" -that said in correct spanish, because I'm sure what I wrote is not correct English xD. What he meant was that he was going to ask the Three Wise Men to get me if I told him my name... or something like that xD.
I wasn't going to start a chat on a dark street in a cold night with a stranger, so I shouted "Anastasia!" (the first name that came to mind) and kept walking (fast).
[Note: in Argentina we cellebrate Christmas, but we also cellebrate the Three Wise Men day: we put our shoes under the Christmas tree on january 5 and get presents the next morning].
hahahahahahahahahahaha "Anastasia!", i think in Spain people do the same ("the Three Wise Men day: we put our shoes under the Christmas tree on january 5 and get presents the next morning") |
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Posts: 33 |
Euan Posted Wed 30 Apr, 2008 9:58 PM |
How much does a polar bear weigh? Dunno, but it broke the ice.
Do you sleep on your front? No? Can I?
<Check her clothes label> "Hmm, just as I thought, made in heaven." |
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weirdmom Posted Wed 30 Apr, 2008 10:03 PM |
Euan wrote: <Check her clothes label> "Hmm, just as I thought, made in heaven."
GROAN!
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megg_inc Posted Wed 30 Apr, 2008 10:05 PM |
Euan wrote:
<Check her clothes label> "Hmm, just as I thought, made in heaven."
That one's actually not so bad, lol! |
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Posts: 33 |
Euan Posted Wed 30 Apr, 2008 10:06 PM |
Euan wrote: How much does a polar bear weigh? Dunno, but it broke the ice.
Do you sleep on your front? No? Can I?
<Check her clothes label> "Hmm, just as I thought, made in heaven."
Just like to point out, these have never been put to use! |
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dee Posted Wed 30 Apr, 2008 10:56 PM |
| he's got that great far away look-the further away he is the better |
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goosey_84 Posted Thu 01 May, 2008 6:23 AM |
megg_inc wrote: Euan wrote:
<Check her clothes label> "Hmm, just as I thought, made in heaven."
That one's actually not so bad, lol!
lol...anyone ever watch "a night at the roxbury"? that line got used...cracks me up everytime...which leads me to:
if i said you had a nice body would you hold it against me? hahaha |
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Posts: 8468 |
AbsolutPurple Posted Thu 01 May, 2008 7:22 AM |
goosey_84 wrote: megg_inc wrote: Euan wrote:
<Check her clothes label> "Hmm, just as I thought, made in heaven."
That one's actually not so bad, lol!
lol...anyone ever watch "a night at the roxbury"? that line got used...cracks me up everytime...which leads me to:
if i said you had a nice body would you hold it against me? hahaha
LMAO |
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Posts: 1918 |
Moray Posted Mon 05 May, 2008 12:31 PM |
I managed to use the worst chat up line ever. It's like the lamest thing ever. I blame the demon drink.
Twas pub quiz night in my uni local (Gladly, that's the Todd Bar, Monday night quiz). I was but a sprightly lad of 19, in my second year of university. It was my round, and I went to the bar to get the drinks in. And this is how the conversation fell apart:
Me: "Hi, four pints of Bud please"
Barmaid: "Hey! How are you?"
Me: "I'm ok, sorry do I know you?"
Barmaid: "Yeah, we used to stay in the same halls in first year, didn't me?"
Me: "I wasn't staying in halls in first year"
Barmaid: "Wow, you know you look really like somebody I know".
Me: "He must be a handsome chap then".
I then followed that beauty of a line up with a big wink and the ol' classic point from the head.
I can still see the next moments play out in slow motion out of body experience as she put on her best "What the fuck?!" expression!!
Oh, I have used the best ever put down when being chatted up.
"I'm sorry, I have to be over there now"
And then walked five feet to the side and leaned on the wall. |
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megg_inc Posted Mon 05 May, 2008 1:08 PM |
| LOL, this is pretty bad! Especially the wink. Winks are the worst. |
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Turtleneck Posted Mon 05 May, 2008 1:12 PM |
Moray wrote:
I can still see the next moments play out in slow motion out of body experience as she put on her best "What the fuck?!" expression!!
This is off the "pick-up line" topic, but I used to have those weird slow-motion, out-of-body experiences a lot when I was younger, but it hasn't happened to me in years. Probably not since I was a teenager. I wonder why? I still get just as embarrassed as I used to. Have I learned to handle it better or does that kind of thing stop as you grow up? (Or is that the same, as you mature you naturally handle your emotions better?) Anyone else? |
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Posts: 8299 |
Scottish Dubliner Posted Mon 08 Dec, 2008 8:01 PM |
Got these sent to me today...
1) Did you fart?
cuz you just blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded?
cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea .
I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.
6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole.
7) You might not be the best lookin girl here,
but beauty's only a light switch away.
8) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I'll bet I can make yer bed-rock.
9) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
10) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin,
we kin sleep til afternoon.
AND.. the best for last!
11) Yer face reminds me of a spanner,
every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up
Dubz
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