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This week I did something I wouldn’t recommend if you’re short on time or running high on anxiety: I took stock. Of music I had on loop in the 90s until the CD skipped, of fashion choices I can only describe as “brave”, of books I underlined so I’d never forget them. Things that felt like the top of the world back then, and that today, twenty years later, make me smile and think “what on earth were you thinking, Lucy”, not with embarrassment, but with a kind of knowing warmth, recognizing someone I no longer am but still love and understand completely.
That’s what I was thinking tonight as I drove home. Today is my birthday (49), I mention it not for ceremony, just because it’s the kind of detail that explains why a night like this lands the way it does. I’d just had dinner with three old friends. People I’ve known for twenty five years and still talk to like it’s the first day, no formality, no accumulated distance, the same honesty as always and even more things to laugh about.
I opened Spotify and Alive came on. Some songs you don’t choose, they just show up. And on that dim highway, with Fran singing quietly “Oh, what’s the point in wallowing in regret? What’s the use in worrying before the course is set? There’s always time, please don’t forget”, I understood that what I value now is hard to put into a list. A good conversation that stretches on without anyone planning it. A sunset. The friends who are still here. The silence that no longer unsettles me.
I got home and wanted to share this with you, (01.20 am in Chile).
Travis is part of that soundtrack, and those friends who are still with me, 26 years on.Thank you!
Lucy. -
Happy Birthday Lucy and you have picked a great song that I can relate! I think similar to this is ”Follow the Light”
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