setting San Francisco State University Satellite campus , Edinburgh SCOTLAND . A young Scottish dublander is walking towards the dorm laundry room , with his dirty washing and his notebooks. He's got a walkman cassette playing the Charlatans UK version of can't get enough of you baby . he's sporting the purple and Gold of SF state . As he walks in to the room he notices a ghetto blaster is playing the Hills of Africa by Toto and Moray Swan is singing along , along with Dee and Kayte , they're drinking and spilling tangaray all over the tables for folding .
Dubz- " golly , you're making a mess better not let then catch you drinking in a common area "
Kayte - " well well little pride of campus is tellling me what to do , don't worry we were expelled this morning "
Dubz- " Jeepers that bad news what are you guys going to do ?"
Moray swan- ' Get fuckin twisted then join the French foreign legions , have a drink bud ! "
Dee ( looking at his books and notes ) - " Looky here , he's studying , what are those ?"
Dubz- " plans for a geographical device , it could save the world , I'm calling it the Dunlop machine in honor of that earth shattering guitarist Andy Dunlop "
Kayte - " ummmmmmmmm yeah , you a nerd ? Have a tipple "
Dubz- " Oh no I don't drink , it's not exceptable for a gentleman scientist "
Dee - " Don't be a puppy , tilt futha fucka "
Kayte - " No don't waste it on him , when my plane leave tonight I wanna be loaded so I can...."
Dubz ( cuts in ) - " where are you going ?"
Kayte - " ah back to Detroit , my best friend Nikki should be outta reform school , we're gonna start a gang....
Moray swan ( cutting in ) - " yeah the SHE Devils , HA HA JA JA JA HA
Dee- " whats your name twerp ?"
Dubz- " Steven"
Dee - don't be a puppy , we'll drink together ( hands him a coffee mug full of gin ), ready , one , twooooooooooooooooooo , three , tilt
They both drink at the same time, chugging
Boombox mixtape starts playing JAMC Just like honey , dubz starts grinning , a whole new world has opened up , the lights start flashing
Dubz - " well maybe just one more , I have schlorship and I must study "
Moray - " yeah right , just study ,geothermal whatsya ma callits "
Dee- " ever look at outer space , flying saucers and stuff ?
Dubz - well , maZn like dude !
Dee- " really ?"
Dubz - " werd "
Moray swan - " Holy shit , you're daff mate !"
Dubz - " Dude "
Kayte - " well , i'm gonna cut , catch yeah someday somehow but you better show me some respect for the She devils "
Moray swan - " yeah me too , gotta cross the channel and kick some ass, see ya dude "
setting , a street , megg and moray are kicking someones ass . it is night time .
Megg- " come on mutha fucka spill ?"
moray - " who is this meridieth ?"
figure on the ground being kicked , groans
doooshbag - " i can't say , she'll kill me "
Moray - " dooshbag ! talk ! "
Megg( looking to Moray ) - " he don't know nothing "
Moray - " outside of sending the she devils to glasgow , we're not ahead , how long before jude figures out you broke your deal "
megg- " she probaly figured it out by now , shoot on sight "
moray - " nope i only use my hands or feet "
Megg - " whatever , waste him "
Camera cuts to the 12 Galaxies , Ingrids office , juli is visiting again .
Ingrid - " so still belive in little green men from Mars ?"
juli - " lets say they'll be something new in Glasgow very shortly "
Ingrid - " what about your sister , still upset ?"
Juli - " no but i gotta let her know I'm in charge , word has gotten out and now there are many people trying to steal my girl scout cookies "
Ingrid - " cookies , you on drugs ?"
Juli - "Dude "
Ingrid - " oh thats right "
an uncomfortable silence erupts
Ingrid - " you getting close to finding her ?"
Juli - " I'm not even trying , I know my sister , bright lights she can't resist em , she'll eventualy show up here "
Ingrid - " she's been here already "
Juli ( ANGRY ) - " WHAT ! "
Ingrid - " relax homeslice , she's like family too what am i suppose to do , not let her and that crazy Esteban run up a tab , i hope you'll pay it off for her "
Juli - " how much ?"
Ingrid - " 2700 dollars "
Juli - " American ?"
Ingrid - " it ain't in Euros , yeah they buddy up with alejandro who come to think of it hasn't been around latly "
Juli - " i'll kill that crazy fucker "
Ingrid - " he got picked up for kicking that crazy english actors ass the other day at the kezar Pavillion , your sister is into roller derby , did you know ? "
Juli- " mom and dad always indulged her making me work and ( pause ) dream and make kissy faces to ........
Phone rings , ingrid puts on speaker
Ingrid - " hello "
Kayte ( voice )- " Glasgow bitches , you can't beat us there " she hangs up
Ingrid - " oh maZn , juli unfold that tye dye blanket over there ( she points to a pile off to the side ) ,there's a map I need . lay out for the king tut . My old friend from my distillery days dubz sent me this "
Juli - " whats so special about the King Tut ?"
Ingrid - " oasis got signed there "
Juli - "oh "
Ingrid - " plus there's a book burried near there, we need it "
