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ricv64 Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 4:36 PM |
| stick to your guns |
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Aída Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 4:43 PM |
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weirdmom Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 4:48 PM |
Kayte that is hard. I agree that you need to not pick back up a toxic "friendship". That is very sad that she has cancer but if she still going to treat you like junk and stress you out, then you have to keep her out of your life.
I have a good friend whose brother was really awful to her - verbally abusive and even hit her a few times. She eventually got the guts to stop talking to him and is really glad she made that decision. Now he has AIDS and many people are tying to convince her that she needs to have a relationship with him again. The problem is he is still a bitter and horrible person. So why should she do that to herself? If he showed that he had changed at all and showed any sort of remorse she would run to him with open arms but she can't bring that back into her life.
(And I do think the people who are saying she needs to be in his life again are well-intentioned; they just don't know the years and years of details that I and others know)
If she is asking I think you should speak the truth in love. Write her back and just tell her just like you told us: your temper hurt me too many times. You can even say you don't want to rehash the past and go into details of things that happened years ago but the bottom line is how her anger hurt you too many times. I guess you could see how she responds. Maybe her illness has opened her eyes and she is changing.
If her response is very volatile, then you can feel even more comfortable with your decision.
Someone once told me they think that friendships should be delicious. Of course like most everything they take work but they shouldn't be all torturous and stressful. That is what your family is for! |
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weirdmom Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 4:49 PM |
Aída wrote: Is Brian totally recovered now?
LOL. Pretty much. He eats turkey just fine but I am confident he won't be suggesting this idea for our children. His dad agrees that it was a bad idea that went really really wrong at the finish line. |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 4:50 PM |
Aída wrote: weirdmom wrote: My hubby's dad once had the brilliant idea of raising their own turkey for Thanksgiving. You know, a project! I think Brian was 11 or 12.
He said slaughter day was one of the most traumatic events of his childhood. The killing wasn't exactly a smooth process.
Is Brian totally recovered now?
Didn't Gordon Ramsey do something like that, although all along he explained to the kids they would be eating them. I thought it was quite interesting.
Dubz
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ricv64 Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 4:52 PM |
| price of gold droppppppped ! anyone else notice it ? |
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goosey_84 Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 5:35 PM |
| my boss gave notice today. wamu life is at an end. |
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spid Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 5:42 PM |
Turtleneck wrote: Moray wrote: Turtleneck wrote:
Very heavy. I'm in the thick of it. Ugly, ugly, ugly.
what's happened like?
Well, kind of a long story that I don't really want to go into here, but basically, I had a long-time friend (since 1st grade) and we have gone down different paths in life. She has made a lot of decisions that I consider foolish. She has a wicked temper that she unleashes at the drop of a hat. The last time she lashed out at me, I had it. Enough. I stopped communicating with her. She never apologized. But she keeps trying to contact me. I just received a letter yesterday. She has breast cancer and had a mastectomy (she's only 36). I feel sorry for her and all, cancer is terrible and I'm sure she's terrified. But I can't go back to that friendship. I have forgiven her in my heart, but I do not want to continue that relationship. She, however, wants direct answers why I have not been contacting her for 3 years. I hate to tell her things that will hurt her, but what else can I do? This has been going on since we were kids. I feel ridiculous having a problem like this as an adult. Let the Boardie Psychotherapy begin.
Ah, Kayte, I've been there! It made me very cautious about new friendships since and funny old thing is another friend of over 20 years has done it too - I sometimes wonder if I have 'sucker' written on my forehead. I can really sympathise. Stick to your guns and stay well out of it - it will only result in more heartache. I tried with the first friend to give it another go and it only resulted in more hurt. With the second i just cut my loses and when I moved I didn't send her my change of address as I wasn't going down the route of hoping again. Just because she is ill or has been doesn't mean you should feel you need to keep in contact, that would just be the guilt she has forced in you talking. If you don't want to be in contact don't. It is up to you if you let her know or not. Some people are just toxic to another person. You go girl, don't let it get you too down and chin up.
Hugs. |
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spid Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 5:42 PM |
| By the way - I'm intersting - you could always talk about me! ;-) |
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carlottarocks Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 5:43 PM |
Turtleneck wrote: th74 wrote: Turtleneck wrote: Jolene! Yes, I saw it! I thought it was pretty good. I like Brooke. Ramiele and Kristy need to go bye-bye in my opinion. What do you think of Jason Castro? I think his looks have a lot to do with his success, but he's not bad. If he'd get that rat's nest hair cut off, he'd be a nice looking guy. My favorites are Brooke and David Cook, but David A. is good, too.
I like Brooke, too. I dislike Kristy and Jason Castro, a lot. I really dislike his hair. I like Carly, too.
It comes and goes with me for Carly. If she is singing at a range that normal humans can hear, she's great; but she tends to get a little screeeeeechy at times. I can't stand that screamy-singing.
Aw, I have a hard time finding any Jason Castro supporters. The hair--man, you know there's gotta be mildew growing in those ropes! Sheweee! Spiders and all manner of detritus.
Way late on this one, but I am a Jason Castro supporter. I like the kid alot, the hair, not so much. But yea, he's a good singer and oh so pretty :) |
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minnesotamary Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 5:47 PM |
Hmmm...I have a pregnancy update!
-I'm 7 1/2 months along
-Gained 22 lbs so far
-Waist is 36 1/2 inches (measured it for the first time yesterday...it was funny!).
-Baby loves to start kicking when I'm ready to call it a night.
-Can't wait to take the entire summer off--yeah! |
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Turtleneck Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 6:03 PM |
minnesotamary wrote: Hmmm...I have a pregnancy update!
-I'm 7 1/2 months along
-Gained 22 lbs so far
-Waist is 36 1/2 inches (measured it for the first time yesterday...it was funny!).
-Baby loves to start kicking when I'm ready to call it a night.
-Can't wait to take the entire summer off--yeah!
Going good! Remember to take a "sideways" picture next month. Cherish those kicks! Summer babies are great! |
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Turtleneck Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 6:03 PM |
| Hey, isn't anyone going to tell me to grow a pair? |
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Turtleneck Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 6:08 PM |
goosey_84 wrote: my boss gave notice today. wamu life is at an end.
And what will be your new beginning? |
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weirdmom Posted Wed 02 Apr, 2008 6:21 PM |
Turtleneck wrote: Hey, isn't anyone going to tell me to grow a pair?
Yeah Esteban is totally slacking on his job. |
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