I simply can't understand a parent who decides not to be involved in his/hers child's life and hearing these things always make me upset.
This post made me smile though, and I wish all the best in the world to Freya (love the name) and her mum.
Sometimes it's not that easy... I know of someone who hasn't seen his 15year old son since he was 11 weeks old because he's not sure he's his and he knows he's now living with a father who loves him as his own, so who is he to break that stability.
Dubz
That's right, sometimes it's not that easy...but most of the time it is easier than people in the situation feel or see. Also it takes a bit of guts and it is easier to be a bit of a coward sometimes. There is lots of different stories and "is he really my child" is the classic number 1, really fair enough, yet it can be checked. At the end of the day beeing a parent is not just about genes. But sometimes people are not prepared for parenthood, or can't take the responsibility, and it is always the mother left with the choice and the job. I think that this is the story of the world to be honest. But if one thinks about it, a shag is not JUST a shag, a one night stand, a fuck, a bit of sex, or even lets keep the Valentine's spirit ...making love.
I have a friend raising her son alone for over 10 years now, the father left her one week before birth and never gave any money despite her taking him to CSA twice. He's now married and has 3 or 4 kids in his marriage and still doesn't give any money to my friend Leila...my brother in law hasn't seen his kids for about 5/6 years which is when he left his very nasty wife (very bad story), but he appears to ignore the situation and does nothing about it, not even talk about it to his family, although he has another partner now, raises her daughter and the son they had together. As the child of orphans myself, I can testify that there is a heavy and painful legacy in those situation which the parents do not realise. There is no excuse at all for not at least trying to be in contact, a letter for example, and there is no excuse to take his or her own history/origins away from a child. The child will always be hurt and damaged by this situation. But of course it is sometimes preferable to stay away, for the child's safety for example.
I don't get how he doesn't care about this. Maybe it's cuz I'm not in the situation? I don't know...is it carelessness, selfishness or fear? hmmm or a combination of the 3?
My friend Steph is having a baby. She's 19 weeks pregnant, she knows it's going to be a girl, and she's going to call the wee baby Freya.
That's not what cheered me up. I've known all that for a while. The thing that cheered me up is the strength that Steph has. The guy who got her pregnant used to be my boss at work. I never really liked him. And, as i suspected, he isn't going to stand by Steph or little Freya. But what's really made my day is the fact that Steph is so strong. She's so happy and full of joy that there's this little person growing inside of her. It's a beautiful thing, and it's brought out the best in her. I only just found out that he isn't going to stand by her and watch his daughter growing up, but ultimately it's his loss. And Steph knows it. But she isn't beat up about it. If anything, it's probably made her realise how strong she is. She doesn't need him. And i just think that's fantastic.
Little Freya is going to have the best mother ever
good for Steph! Freya is my daughter's name (mind she is a good bit older ;) ) but if this wee Freya grows up into a strong a person as my 'wee' Freya is then all will be well :)
