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mili Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 12:02 PM |
I just came back in after spending good half an hour waiting for an ambulance. Happened to be looking out, when this old man came shuffling to our yard and then promptly fell backwards and couldn't get up. When my husband and I got to him, we found out that his head was bleeding and he couldn't sit up. So, ambulance was called and we tried to talk to him. Not easy, as he didn't hear too well, and didn't say much either. He told us that he was 92 years old war veteran (WW II), lives on his own, and is about to move to another city where one of his twin sons lives.
I don't know what he was doing in the yard, never seen him before, got the impression he was a bit confused.
Anyways, that made me think of old age, and my parents getting older. How can you be sure that old people are capable of looking after themselves? What if they fall, and nobody sees it? Or the one who sees it steals their wallet? Or…? |
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thewishlist Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 12:22 PM |
yes, frightening!!!!!!!!
you can't be sure your parents will be capable of looking after themselves in the future, and they're probably more scared than you are of the moment they have to admit they need help.
I guess all we can do is let them live the way they want to and check in on them and support them when they need us. NOT put them into nursing-homes and never even visit them (this happens to way too many elderly people over here and the "normal" nursing-homes are terrible places in Germany!!!! Makes me so SO angry...) |
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Turtleneck Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 12:54 PM |
It is scary. And the only way you'll know they are safe is to check on them. In the case with my grandma, we saw signs that she was declining (dementia), then one day she had a stroke (in her apartment) and that was the end of her living independently. Then she had another larger stroke and she was in a wheelchair and disabled for the rest of her life, about 3 years.
My mother is declining now. I think she has the same problem my grandmother had. Hardening of the arteries that causes mini strokes and/or a heart attack. Luckily my step-dad is still alive and well and is able to take care of her, because there is no way she could take care of herself. The hardening of the arteries in her brain has caused her to have dementia, like Alzheimer's but a different cause. Recently she went out into the backyard, fainted and broke her shoulder and arm. Having physical and mental problems at the same time...it's really hard. Luckily the physical part is mostly healed now. But my mom is a ticking time bomb, basically. I know what her condition is and I know what could happen at any time. She could have a major stroke or a heart attack.
It's incredibly scary. |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 2:05 PM |
I live on my own, I'm approaching 40 and have a terrible diet if I suffer a heart attack or something happens to me in the house, due to the fact I'm not great at keeping contact with anyone it would probably be the rent being unpaid that would alert somebody, which could be anything up to 6 weeks.
I don't find it scary, life's too short to be worrying about stuff like that.
Dubz |
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mili Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 2:41 PM |
Scottish Dubliner wrote: I live on my own, I'm approaching 40 and have a terrible diet if I suffer a heart attack or something happens to me in the house, due to the fact I'm not great at keeping contact with anyone it would probably be the rent being unpaid that would alert somebody, which could be anything up to 6 weeks.
I don't find it scary, life's too short to be worrying about stuff like that.
Dubz
There was a case in Helsinki, when a mummified man was found in his flat. No-one had missed him for 6 years (they figured that out by the mail gathered), and since the city paid his rent, even that didn't cause an alarm. The only reason he was found was that there was some planned renovation in the whole block of flats, and the builders needed to get in.
Dubz, you'd be missed much sooner than you think, I'm sure. |
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Turtleneck Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 2:51 PM |
But do you worry at all about your parents, Dubz? I recall you saying that your parents were young, but you'll be dealing with having old parents in 10 or 15 years. Not being afraid about yourself is one thing, but worrying for someone else is different.
I guess the other thing that worries me is being an only child. If something suddenly happened to my step-dad, I'd be solely responsible for my mother. Then I'd be one of those "sandwich" generation people, still having little kids at home and dealing with an elderly parent. |
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mili Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 3:02 PM |
Turtleneck wrote: But do you worry at all about your parents, Dubz? I recall you saying that your parents were young, but you'll be dealing with having old parents in 10 or 15 years. Not being afraid about yourself is one thing, but worrying for someone else is different.
I guess the other thing that worries me is being an only child. If something suddenly happened to my step-dad, I'd be solely responsible for my mother. Then I'd be one of those "sandwich" generation people, still having little kids at home and dealing with an elderly parent.
I'm an only child, too, but my parents live reasonably close, unlike my husband's, whose parents are in the UK, he in Finland and his brother in the US. We're the closest in case of an emergency, "only" half a day's travel away… His dad is only 10 years younger than the gentleman this afternoon. The distance is a worry, too. |
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minnmess Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 3:04 PM |
yup, scary. At 16 I found my grandmother on the floor after she had had a stroke and she never lived on her own again. it was probably the scariest moment of my life. She didnt know where she was, or why she was there, was insistant that my brother had been in a car accident, and was mad at "the man in the chair who sat there reading his book and didnt help her."
My dad has had a heart attack, is diabetic and has something wrong with nearly ever bit of him. And yet, goes up to the cottage on his own for weeks on end. My mom makes him call every night.
Really not prepared to deal. |
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monkey Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 3:31 PM |
| It's frightening in that sometimes it's as if people are going to live forever. My mums dad has had cancer for years and i don't know what it's going to take to kill him off. He's a miserable old bastard who is hell bent on making everyone around him equally as miserable. The day he kicks the bucket imho will be a good one! |
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thewishlist Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 3:41 PM |
| (I wrote a long long reply, but it made me cry and it was too personal for "the internet" so I'm deleting it. Just this: I really really HOPE I'll get the chance to have kids AND a mother at the same time and place...) |
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Turtleneck Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 4:02 PM |
monkey wrote: It's frightening in that sometimes it's as if people are going to live forever. My mums dad has had cancer for years and i don't know what it's going to take to kill him off. He's a miserable old bastard who is hell bent on making everyone around him equally as miserable. The day he kicks the bucket imho will be a good one!
On the opposite end, my dad passed away within a month of the doctor suspecting cancer. I think he died the day the biopsy came in. |
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Peewee Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 6:35 PM |
| Frightening - very much so! This thread itself has brought tears to my eyes. :-( It's a scary thought and not one I am willing to think about right now. Like Kristy states "not ready to deal"!!! |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Wed 15 Jun, 2011 7:35 PM |
Turtleneck wrote: But do you worry at all about your parents, Dubz? I recall you saying that your parents were young, but you'll be dealing with having old parents in 10 or 15 years. Not being afraid about yourself is one thing, but worrying for someone else is different.
I guess the other thing that worries me is being an only child. If something suddenly happened to my step-dad, I'd be solely responsible for my mother. Then I'd be one of those "sandwich" generation people, still having little kids at home and dealing with an elderly parent.
Yeah I suppose I do, I know that the phone call is gonna come one day and I'll be back home like a snow aff a dyke. My parents mean the world to me.
Dubz |
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Gladly (the cross-eyed bear) Posted Thu 16 Jun, 2011 10:35 AM |
| I worry about my parents getting ill and dying. But i dont worry about it happening to me. |
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SamuraiSandy Posted Thu 16 Jun, 2011 5:35 PM |
Gladly (the cross-eyed bear) wrote: I worry about my parents getting ill and dying. But i dont worry about it happening to me.
I think that's where I am right now too. |
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