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Tracey982 Posted Sat 16 Jan, 2010 5:12 PM |
This is quite a sensitive subject for me as my fiance has had a drink problem throughout our relationship (10 years) and has mental health issues and it's caused heartache for both of us and although he's been seeing doctors I still feel he's not getting the best help.
I was thinking about rehabilitation for him and have made a few enquiries to the local centres we have but I was wondering if anyone has experienced being in alcohol rehab or knows anyone who has gone and if so, was this beneficial?
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champagnesupernova Posted Sat 16 Jan, 2010 5:41 PM |
A very important person in my life has had similar type of problems recently. He was in a deep depression and lost his sense drinking too much. Fortunately we had many people helping around and convincing him for treatment. But I have to tell the treatment was more on the depression. Alcohol abuse was only a part of it. During the days in hospital he was attended in Alcoholic Anonymous meetings. He is happy not to drink now. Well maybe one day he can start again only for pleasure but at least until the medication is over he won't drink a drop. He is quite decisive about this. So all I can tell is rehabilitation, required medication, good care and kindness is a must to have in order to feel good again! But most importantly he has to be willing to have the treatment without pressure.
Good luck to you and your fiance. I know this can be real hard. Hope he feels better soon and you too. Fingers crossed for you both. |
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Tracey982 Posted Sat 16 Jan, 2010 5:51 PM |
champagnesupernova wrote: A very important person in my life has had similar type of problems recently. He was in a deep depression and lost his sense drinking too much. Fortunately we had many people helping around and convincing him for treatment. But I have to tell the treatment was more on the depression. Alcohol abuse was only a part of it. During the days in hospital he was attended in Alcoholic Anonymous meetings. He is happy not to drink now. Well maybe one day he can start again only for pleasure but at least until the medication is over he won't drink a drop. He is quite decisive about this. So all I can tell is rehabilitation, required medication, good care and kindness is a must to have in order to feel good again! But most importantly he has to be willing to have the treatment without pressure.
Good luck to you and your fiance. I know this can be real hard. Hope he feels better soon and you too. Fingers crossed for you both.
He suffers from anxiety and depression and he went through a phase of self harming too which was through drink and his behaviour would be so bizarre sometimes. His family knows what the situation is like and my family do to a certain extent although I've never really went into great detail about what's gone on as they are very judgemental and I have felt alone for a long time as I have had no one to turn to or talk to about how I was feeling but I have to look after myself and get some help and advice for myself.
Thank you for your words of encouragement.
xx |
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champagnesupernova Posted Sat 16 Jan, 2010 6:00 PM |
Tracey982 wrote:
He suffers from anxiety and depression and he went through a phase of self harming too which was through drink and his behaviour would be so bizarre sometimes. His family knows what the situation is like and my family do to a certain extent although I've never really went into great detail about what's gone on as they are very judgemental and I have felt alone for a long time as I have had no one to turn to or talk to about how I was feeling but I have to look after myself and get some help and advice for myself.
Thank you for your words of encouragement.
xx
Anxiety, self harm, depression, distrust and fear are the main indicators of he case. We had experienced them too. It is not good to face all these alone. Would be great if you can get his family's help. Would be very supportive for him too as family is important you know. Keep your head up! Don't lose your strength. Try him to see how lucky he is to have you in his life. Once again medication is a must to have. I have been searching a lot on this type of cases and it seems true medication has saved many lives. It is just a chemical balance. Pills will get the balance back. |
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AbsGinger Posted Sun 17 Jan, 2010 3:53 PM |
A friend went to rehab for a month and is positive it helped. She said it was a tough experience but worth it.
We met last summer in a home where we were both treated for depression and at the time she was in denial saying alcohol wasn't an issue although she was drinking everyday.
I hope your partner and yourself can find a solution to it.
Have you seen a doctor/shrink to discuss his problem ? |
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Tracey982 Posted Mon 18 Jan, 2010 7:46 PM |
AbsGinger wrote: A friend went to rehab for a month and is positive it helped. She said it was a tough experience but worth it.
We met last summer in a home where we were both treated for depression and at the time she was in denial saying alcohol wasn't an issue although she was drinking everyday.
I hope your partner and yourself can find a solution to it.
Have you seen a doctor/shrink to discuss his problem ?
I saw my own doctor months ago and she gave me a few phone numbers for counselling.
He goes to AA once in a blue moon but he really needs to be going on a regular basis. I would go with him but I work all day and he works different shifts so it's hard for us to attend something like that together.
We are on a waiting list for relationship counselling and I feel this could be a big help, that way he will know the effect his drinking and behaviour has on everyone.
I was querying costs for rehab and there would be no way that I could afford something like that so we'll have to see his doctors and see if there's any other kind of support for him.
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weirdmom Posted Mon 18 Jan, 2010 11:06 PM |
| Is he willing to go? Because none of this will work unless he wants it to. |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Mon 18 Jan, 2010 11:37 PM |
weirdmom wrote: Is he willing to go? Because none of this will work unless he wants it to.
I was actually gonna post something along the same vein..
I have personal experience of alcoholism and rehab.
1. The only person who can honestly do anything about their problem is the person with the problem, i.e. the support of your loved ones does mean a whole lot but at the end of the day it's up to the individual.
2. Rehab does not work for everyone, for example I tried going totally "dry", it was bollocks and did me more harm than good, sometimes people need to find a middle ground. btw that is not to say that total abstinance does not work for certain people it just didn't work for me. AA for me was full of people who substituted their addiction for alcohol for an addiction to AA and the twelve steps which wasn't pretty. Some people are just Arseholes drunk or sober they are still Aresholes, sorry
3. I'm pretty much an alcoholic, but I live with it.
If you wanna ask me in further detail please don't be afraid to ask.
Dubz |
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Posts: 176 |
Lizzie b Posted Tue 19 Jan, 2010 7:33 PM |
My aunt struggled w/ alcoholism for many years (it escalated into painkillers & other such drugs). She was in & out of rehab so many times, I couldn't keep count. She was severely depressed & never managed to get control of it. Every time we saw her, it was a pity party. I don't think she ever wanted to do the work to get better herself, she wanted everyone else to fix her problems. She ended up hanging herself.
My mother-in-law was also an alcoholic (she also escalated to painkillers). She was a classic denier. She NEVER acknowledged she had a problem, even though the evidence mounted against her. Last year she died of an accidental overdose.
My point is that no one can get help unless they can acknowledge they have a problem & are willing to do the necessary work to get themselves sober. I think it is fantastic that you two are working together to find a solution, but no one can really do this for your fiance except for himself. You mention that you are lonely & wish you could talk to others. Check out Al-Anon http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/ this program is specific to those who have loved ones suffering from addiction. I suggest that you get involved in this so you yourself can have a support system while dealing w/ this.
Also, I did some volunteer work @ a young women's rehab facility & many would be back multiple times. It is important to remember that relapse is a part of recovery. Some people can stop cold-turkey, most can not. Relapse is not a failure, it is just part of the on-going process of recovery.
I hope you & your fiance can get through this together & I wish you all the best.
~B |
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strongbow1 Posted Sat 30 Jan, 2010 1:28 AM |
| It isn't the easiest of subjects. In fact once alcohol gets a grip you have a problem controlling it. When you think about the damage it does to so many families and relationships you then start to realise just what a problem you have on your hands. There is no easy solution. My doctor told me "if you don't want to drink it then you wouldn't buy it". I actually agree with that. There is no stopping a person from drinking unless the person wants to stop. Stopping does mean for the rest of life i take it? Could the person go for the rest of life without touching it? If the person in question is drinking because he is depressed then concentrate on the depression and the type of depression (clinical, bipolar etc) then the drink. Depression and drink often goes hand in hand mainly clinical depression. Its worth reading up on that. But then i am in no position to offer advice. |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Sat 30 Jan, 2010 1:49 AM |
It's a fucking quandry all right !!
Even when the person in question has given up, sometimes it still doesn't work. Abstinence can even put more strain on a relationship, for example. "you'll never understand cause I'm alcoholic and you're not", "you don't know what I'm going through". then there's also the fact that part of the person you love is a drunk, and when they become sober they are not as "attractive".
It's a shitty state of affairs, personally I try to balance it, I often miss the mark by staying too sober or being too drunk but I know if I take eiher the sonriety or the drunk road I'll end up in worse shape.
Dubz |
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strongbow1 Posted Tue 23 Nov, 2010 2:38 AM |
| Liver problems. |
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Posts: 8299 |
Scottish Dubliner Posted Tue 23 Nov, 2010 7:06 AM |
Shit buzz.
My doctor orders LFT's (liver function tests, for those that don't know) every time I seriously go "off it", They've all returned fine... up till now.
I remember the first time I went seriously sober (6 months, AA, councilling, all that shite) I read somewhere that stopping outright can actually do more damage than good in chronic cases. The liver is basically used to dealing with all the toxins and if you suddenly take them away it has a detrimental effect.
Dubz |
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Turtleneck Posted Tue 23 Nov, 2010 4:12 PM |
| Do you mean more damaging temporarily, or causing permanent liver damage? Is this because all the toxins the body has stored are released rapidly and it overwhelming to the liver? |
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Scottish Dubliner Posted Fri 26 Nov, 2010 5:29 PM |
Turtleneck wrote: Do you mean more damaging temporarily, or causing permanent liver damage? Is this because all the toxins the body has stored are released rapidly and it overwhelming to the liver?
I can't remember the ins and outs, I think it may be something to do with filtering/attacking bad cells (alcohol) and when you take alcohol away it attacks/filters the good stuff. I believe that severe cases it can be fatal.
Dubz |
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